Leaving girls that didn’t do anything wrong

[LuckyLuke]

I like Asian girls a lot. In my relationships with them was very little drama compared to relationships with western girls. Asian girls usually don’t give me a reason to leave them because they didn’t do anything wrong. But there comes a point where you have to since I don’t plan to marry them and circumstances change. Then you dump then or leave them. It’s sad.

My ex(Indonesian) is the best example. I probably would have ended up marrying her, if I would gotten a normal job back in Germany. I left her because I wanted to stay in China. Was difficult for both of us, but probably more for her than for me. She told me that her life felt empty without me. I actually think I would have made her happy, provided her with some kind of family since my family loved her and she had issues with hers and that she would have been a great mother. But I wasn’t ready for that.

My suga mama did a lot for me. Took care of me when I was at the hospital, helped me with organizing and managing my life since I can read Chinese and provided an overall higher quality of life for me back in Jinan. If I would have stayed with her, her life would have been pretty much complete since she already got everything else a Chinese  women wants(Gucci handbags, houses, cars). Me ocasinally whoring around probably wouldn’t have bothered her. If I would have fake-married her, I could have gotten her to Canada somehow where she wants to live with the rest of her family(she somehow cant get there, since they are afraid she wont leave, which is a valid concern). I left to Chengdu. I never loved here but still feel a little guilty for leaving.

 

Daniela(Funnycatgirl) was great. I meet her after I already decided to move to Chengdu. She had a lot of what I like in a girl. She probably would have become my girlfriend. I was sad when I left her and Jinan.

 

I am afraid of longterm relationships now. If you wont marry her there will be disappointment and the feeling that you couldn’t ultimatively give her what she wanted. Have you guys also the feeling that our abundance with women can be negative to one individual that we like? I am not here to make the life of women worse and I usually don’t, but I feel guilty. Especially for my ex. Don’t know if anybody has similar thoughts.

[RedpoleQ]

Great post and I'm glad you're thinking about this.  I hope that some of the guys post their thoughts and experiences about this, because I think it's important to think about this stuff.

[ShinChoc]

I would only feel guilty if I had lied to the girl about the relationship and fed her a fairy tale that she would be the only girl in my life forever. I'm currently working on setting better frames and expectations pre-close so that it's a better overall experience for me and the girls.