This is one of the MOST common questions we get from people who have some experience doing cold approach pickup in Asia. In fact, you could even call this one of the normal stages of development for anyone who’s learning pickup. Once you’ve gotten out and overcome you’re approach anxiety a bit, you’ve probably tried to exchange contact information with the girls you’re meeting (LINE, WeChat, Kakaotalk, Instagram, etc.)
For a beginner, getting girls’ contact information can feel like a massive achievement. When I did my first number close back in 2008, I couldn’t believe it!
Unfortunately, that excitement can be quite short-lived when the girl stops reading or replying to your messages. So, the question we often get is usually worded something like this:
“I met a girl last week and everything went well. She gave me her LINE ID and then we exchanged a few messages, but she’s been totally silent for the past few days. What can I do to get her to start talking to me again?“
Now, part of the problem with this question is the the final sentence in bold above. Guys ask this question hoping for some tip or trick that will act as a magic bullet and get the girl to start reading and replying to his message and engaging with him again.
They often think the problem is with their texting or way of interacting with the girl over messenger. Oftentimes, the problem occurred much earlier and the guy just didn’t notice what was going on.
One thing guys don’t usually realize is that when girls give you their contact information, especially if they do so quickly (within 3 – 5 minutes of meeting you), they’re often doing so to end the interaction in a polite and easy way.
Asking a girl for her contact information often seems like a great idea when you run out of things to say or don’t know what to do next when you’re talking to girls. Then you can stop feeling uncomfortable and walk away from the interaction on a high note, feeling that you’ve won by getting her contact info.
The problem with this is that the girl has no reason to keep talking to you after such a short interaction. She has no idea who you are, how you could fit into her life, why it might be a good idea to meet you again or date you.
The simplest way to solve this is to run your interactions longer. As a beginner, this can feel pretty uncomfortable because you might think you’ve run out of things to say or don’t know how to lead the conversation beyond the opener. It will become much easier with practice.
A good rule is to try and stay in a set for at least 1 or 2 minutes AFTER you start feeling uncomfortable or like you want to stop the interaction and go for her contact info. If you keep doing that, you’ll gradually build your conversational muscles and be able to have higher quality interactions where you’re connecting with the girl on a deeper level.
If you’re worried about not knowing what to say, I wrote an article on Natural Game in Asia where I talk about some improvisation techniques to help you generate conversation when you’re feeling stuck.
When you’re doing cold approach pickup, you want to try and run the interaction as long as you possibly can. The longer you run any given set, the higher your chances are of being able to meet the girl again on a different day. In general, 15 – 20 minutes of conversation is a good length of time to aim for before trying to exchange contact information.
In summary, the main reason why Asian girls will stop reading or replying to your texts is because you didn’t establish a deep enough connection during the initial approach and she doesn’t have any idea of how you might fit into her life. Try to run your interactions longer, show her different aspects of your personality and figure out what things you like about her personality as well.
