Seoul FR (30-day challenge)

[seiza]

Not sure if there's many active guys here on the Forum these days but maybe I can kickstart some activity! 

 

Over 30 days I'm working on my solo game in Seoul. Right now I'm in a LTR but seriously miss the rush of opening, getting a girl's number etc (despite having high AA)! For me, overcoming something that makes you feel internally uncomfortable like AA or public speaking and then releasing that energy is an amazing feeling and something you can look back on your deathbed and be proud that you did it. I'm also rusty AF, slightly out of shape physically, and just not very socially calibrated after two years of COVID, building an online business by myself in mad professor mode, a long-term relationship, and losing way too much in crypto last month. Getting out there, hitting the streets, and talking to girls seems like the perfect fix for most of those problems I mention.  

 

DAY 1

Arrive in Seoul in the morning. Check into my hotel and go outside. Already nervous AF about opening! Already wondering if I can really start this challenge. But almost right away -- as I'm crossing the road -- I see a college girl limping on crutches and moving far too slow to cross before the lights change. As the only other person nearby, she looks desperately at me for help. I go over and help support her right arm as we cross the road. She explains in broken English that she's still not accustomed to using crutches yet. She's not particularly attractive and I'm still feeling nervous, so I didn't end up pushing the interaction. But I thought it was a good omen and helped release my nerves.

Continue walking around Sinchon for 20 mins looking for an easy target to open. Eventually I pass a cute girl who makes slight eye contact with me. Maybe I saw this girl earlier too? I spin around, chase her down, and ask her slowly in English if I'd just seen her outside a noodle restaurant. She shook her head 😂 . I then asked if she spoke English, she said "Sorry" and then I ejected after saying a few words that didn't progress the interaction. 

Thoughts: While the overall interaction was piss poor, I did a little fist pump as soon as she was out of sight --I just knocked off the first day of my challenge! I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've attempted opening during the day in Korea! So it was a small win versus me and AA. 

 

DAY 2

Again I spend like 20 mins looking for a girl to approach, but this time at dinner time. Not a lot of foot traffic tonight. Eventually I see a college girl by herself and she's walking quickly in the direction of the university. I chase her up a hill towards Yonsei University after power-walking for well over 100 meters. At the traffic lights I turn to her and say in English, "Hey you walk really fast" and I did a little body language too with my arms. She took off her air pods so I had to do the whole opener again but she chuckled. I asked if she spoke English and she said "a little". We interact for about 30 seconds, establish she's a student and on her way to an evening lecture before she has to go catch her bus. I made no effort to number close her. 

Thoughts: Definitely got further in terms of conversation than the previous day. The opener seemed to work. However, instead of walking behind her for 100 meters, I should have jogged so I could get alongside her earlier and had more time to talk to her. I think I'm using the "Do you speak English" line as a crutch when I don't know what to say next, which doesn't actually get me anywhere. While I found out her logistics, I didn't really connect with her in any meaningful way to warrant the interaction going any further. 

 

DAY 3

Moved to Myeongdong as there's cheap accommodation here. On the way here, I freak out when I see another of my crypto investments get crushed! Fuck. 

Spend most of the day watching Seinfeld on Netflix as an escape but then remember at 9:30pm that I haven't done my approach homework. I really don't feel like it, but I get myself out of bed and dressed up. I putt around Myeongdong for 15 minutes but it's like moving around trying catch lightning in a bottle. There's barely any girls around (especially my default target of 1-sets). Eventually I see a girl in tight jeans with a great ass waiting for street food. I park myself next to her and ask if she's lining up. She responds in perfect English, so I'm surprised. However, she's not as hot from the front as I hoped. Turns out she's from Singapore and working remotely for a few weeks in Seoul. We chat for 5 minutes and then I walk towards her hotel before I initiate adding her Kakao.

On the way back to my hotel I go to a convenience store and notice the girl working there is Chinese. I talk to her in Chinese and she's pretty excited to talk to me but she wasn't that hot, so I didn't ask for her contact details.

Thoughts: Talking to the Singapore girl was easy and she introduced me to a website for booking long-term hotel stays in Korea which is better value for money than AirBNB. So I was super happy that I dragged my ass out of bed and bumped into her. Having said that, I could have pushed things further by first taking her to a convenience store and then asking to see her hotel, which she booked on this website she recommended. At the time, I didn't think of this at all. I only realized later that I could have at tried to take the interaction slightly further.

 

DAY 3

In the morning I go back to the same convenience store as the night before. This time there's a different Chinese girl working there. She's cuter and again excited to speak Chinese with me. Before I leave, she says "So happy to meet you" at which point I stop in my tracks, turn around, and get her WeChat. 

She's very young, maybe 20. Her social media pics look super cute -- in real life she's cute but jaw-dropping hot. We chat on WeChat straight away while she's supposed to be working and organize a coffee date after her exams the following week. 

That afternoon I approach a fairly unattractive girl with a hat and a facemask covering most of her face. My opener was to ask for directions but she ignores me so I eject after two failed attempts. 

Thoughts: Nice to add the convenience store part to my game. My verbal delivery and frame with the unattractive girl on the street should have been more confident, I made it too easy for her to ignore me. 

 

DAY 4

Went out quite late this time (10pm) and really struggling for foot traffic around Myeongdong. Eventually find a bus stop with a bunch of girls waiting for their bus. It takes me several minutes to work up the courage to open a really cute college girl. I open by speaking in Korean and asking her if she feels cold and then gesture to give her my blazer. Her reaction to the opener is fine and she takes off her earphones and turns around to talk to me. Predictably, I ask if she speaks English? As soon as I say this, I know I'm not going anywhere. D'OH!! She says not really and then I disappear into the night! haha 

Thoughts: Definitely the hottest girl I've approached so far and the opener worked fine. But it's clear that I really don't have much to say to these girls beyond the situational opener. I'm failing to progress the dialogue and not mentioning my agenda at all. So I've got some work there to do. 

 

DAY 4

Dinner time I look for some targets around Myeongdong. Eventually see a Korean girl walking ultra slow so I quickly chase her down and make an effort this time to speak in (broken) Korean. I initially scare her a little but then her face looks happy to be talking to me. I make an observation that she is on her way to eat Chimaek with her friends but it must have come out as me saying I was going to meet my friends for chimaek. I then ask her in Korean if she speaks English and she says no and then I eject after wishing her a fun night.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this opener. It was the first time a Korean girl looked genuinely pleased or intrigued that I opened her. Unfortunately I got super nervous speaking in Korean and gave up too early. She was walking super slow, so I had plenty of time and she seemed captive to what I had to say. But again, I lack much substance beyond the initial opener. 

 

DAY 5

In the afternoon I walk around Myeongdong and this time there's heaps of girls walking around (so daytime is definitely better than late at night). I see a cute girl with a blue face mask and straight away I know she's not a local based on her face mask. Koreans never wear the blue surgical mask. I chase her down over a block and then ask her if she's from China as we walk side by side. She takes her air pods off and again I have to repeat myself. She is surprised that I speak Chinese. 

She's a college student in Seoul and we chat for 5 minutes as we continue walking. Although we chat and I am leading the conversation, at no stage do I feel like I've completely hooked her. I get her WeChat but I don't really have a good pretext for getting her contact details. Anyway, we add each other. Later I notice that her WeChat profile picture is an average looking college guy (probably also from China) and her moments make it look pretty clear that she has a BF. I still message her but she says sorry, her BF thinks its not convenient to talk.

Thoughts: Speaking in Chinese comes more natural to me than speaking English for some reason. But I need to improve the lead-up to getting a girl's contact details and even seed a reason to start a chat with her later, like mentioning an anime or a funny youtube video etc to which I can send a link for later.

 

DAY 6

Relocate in the morning to Sinchon after feeling pretty disappointed with the quality and quantity of girls in Myeondong. During my first lunch here I go to a noodle bar and sit a few seats away from two college-age Korean girls. Super cute! I eat my noodles while trying to understand their conversation. Then they start talking about learning English and they say a few set phrases in English as one was explaining to the other the meaning. At this stage I want to jump in but there's another person sitting in between us. So I get up and get a second cup of water (even though I already have one full glass). The next time they use an English phrase I compliment them from behind about their English pronunciation being really good. Their reaction was a little bit surprised because I was standing behind them and my voice came out of nowhere. They shyly said thank you but based on the awkward start I excuse myself and return to my seat. 

In the afternoon I go to a coffee shop full of college girls studying. One girl sat next to me while I was there and it was obvious that she wanted to talk to me. We chatted and she gave me a bag of candy, random I know, lol. Her English wasn't that good but we chatted a little bit in Korean, Japanese, and English. But then she mentions she has a BF in the UK and he hasn't answered her message because he's asleep. That threw me off a bit about mentioning her BF.

She was small and slim but not all that hot and there seemed something a little bit off about her so I didn't even ask for her Kakao. I'm not exactly sure what her intentions were, but hey, got some free candy!!

Reflection: Today was good because I found a cafe and a noodle bar that will increase my surface area for bumping into girls without only having to prowl the streets looking for a target. My approach in the noodle bar was weak, though. I need to back myself more to get past the awkwardness and progress the interaction. 

 

DAY 7

Back at the noodle bar. This time there's a very attractive Asian girl sitting alone but she doesn't seem Korean. I sit two seats away from her and eventually I ask her if she's Chinese. She quite emphatically says OMG Yes! How did you know? in a Cali girl accent. She was born in China but grew up in America. 

We have a good chat but towards the end of the interaction she asks how I knew she was Chinese. My answer was "Oh well, Korean girls don't usually have lunch by themselves," which was my actual line of thinking. I have noticed this, especially among hot girls. Now, as you might imagine, this came across as a neg and she didn't particularly like it but we got past it and I changed the topic. 

A minute or two later she gets up to go to class. Before she goes, she asks me how long I'm in town for and then I ask to get her WeChat. She says she doesn't check WeChat regularly but she suggests Instagram. I ask her ID, but she then asks for my ID, and she then proceeds to follow me.  

Reflection: I liked this girl and I'm looking forward to lining up a coffee or something with her. The way she asked "How long are you in town for" was a nice transition in to next exchanging contact details -- as I honestly was struggling to manouver to that point. What she said was so simple but I'm so socially inept right now, it would never have occurred to me. So I will have to bookmark that line. Also, I don't know, maybe I should have mentioned grabbing a coffee someday or seeded a D2 before she left? 

 

DAY 8

The American Chinese girl from the day before unfollowed me before I got around to following her and sending her a message. Now have no way of contacting her! Fuck... I should have made an effort on the same day I met her. Also wondering if my Instagram is particularly bad or whether that accidental neg came back to hurt me. Will never know I guess! Frustrating but live and learn. If I see her at the noodle bar again, what angle should I take? Joke about her unfollowing me or just ignore that it ever happened?

I didn't end up opening today. Partly cos I had other plans and time got away from me with other stuff. I broke my daily streak but I'm still happy with my progress so far. I'm getting past my AA which is good. But, I still have a long way to go in properly engaging Korean girls and my Korean speaking also needs a lot of work. I probably need to plan more past the opener in terms of what I want to say and I rely too much on asking the girl questions rather than monologing or at least making assumptions about her and what she's doing. 

I also realize that I need to up my daily approaches to about 5-10 rather than my customary one. Easier said than done. I think I still have a lot of AA to get past in order to hit that daily number. But I know it's what I need to do next. More reps is also more practice, which is what I need right now. 

[Stripper]

Great job pushing yourself out of your comfort zone with all those approaches! Sounds like you're learning a lot. A few thoughts - don't be too hard on yourself if a setback like the American girl unfollowing happens, just take the lesson and move on. It gets easier with practice too. Also don't underestimate how far friendly body language and smiling goes when interacting with girls - try radiating more positive energy.