Shanghai Bootcamp with Kane - June 2017

[French Ben]

I am writing this FR really late, as my BC with Kane in Shanghai took place more than 3 weeks ago. This being said, I have decided to use it as a work base for my future interactions by summarizing the main points covered in a ready-to-use format.

Anyway my BC with Kane was great and itw as an eye-opener to many way sin which i addressed the world of pickup and dating.

The format of the BC was pretty heavy, with 2 days and 2 nights out and it did yield some interesting results and realizations.

I probably approached more girls in a weekend that I had in the last 5 years and I gained a lot from interacting with Kane.

I had some big eye-opening realizations, namely in terms of assuming your sexuality and conveying sexual intent was perfectly acceptable as long as it was done in a way that was both entertaining and leading.

This was another realization : the fact that in general, as even more importantly in Asia, male and female roles and more clearly defined and it is normal that you run the game from soup to nuts. This means relying less on IOIs as in the West, as well as less feeding from female input in order to lie down the dominoes. Generally speaking, I saw the importance of having a strong logistical frame in order to always be pushig forward to the next step.

This was a huge realization for me, who often struggles with confidence and assertiveness issues. It turns out that leading, pushing to the next step, qualifying, asking for personal information and even kinoing the girls from the very beginning had always been well accepted from them. Crazy !

I also learned from keeping a conversation entertaining, by inputting some humorous elements as well as giving them help to stay in the conversation by giving them examples of potential answers to my questions.

Another big takeaway was that several of my mental assumptions were incorrect. It was pretty impressive to realize that most people actually don’t even notice what you are doing and nobody is actually watching (huge realization for me)

Another huge realization was like most girls actually enjoyed being approached and didn’t see me as a sexual fiend or deviant. For almost all of them, we were able to have a pleasant interaction and they even enjoyed being kino’ed. Turns out most of them are pretty normal and perfectly approachable. An eye-opener was also being able to get contact details of women I thought were totally out of my league (a beautiful tattooed fashion designer and photographer for example).

Another one that was also impressive is that you didn’t need to be perfect and that you could still get away by being good without being great to get results. Or good enough is good enough. The fact that dominance and leadership was key was a huge takeaway from the bootcamp.

 

Since the bootcamp, I have worked on making one approach a day. I often have motivation issues – it comes and goes – so I have decided to replace it with discipline. One approach a day is what I run, no matter what. In 3 weeks, I have made only 2 or 3 exceptions and they were not on consecutive days. This being said, they often didn’t go any further than directions to the next Mc Donalds, which leads me to the next point.

 

In the future, I still have a lot to improve on. I still have huge approach anxiety, which leads me to often hesitate for hours before actually approaching.

Unless I have a good element to speak about (a girl’s dress suggests she has been to my countrty, etc.), another big issue that I have is getting stuck on the opener. I always find it hard to transition from the opener to the next step – (BT spikes and qualification).

I also struggle to have fun interacitons with girls when they are the ones creating loops – such as asking ‘What do you think of me ?’

My difficulties in creating my own loops and running the whole game often gets me stuck and therefore leads to me ejecting early. In the future, I know I shouldn’t eject before Qualification and PIE but I’m still struggling with finding a clear structure that is learnt almost by heart and that I can use in any situation.

In the future, I also want to work on my inner game . Redpole Q namely hinted that I do tend to send the wrong messages and set different expectations than the ones that I am actually looking for and that I tend to end up in situations where I wake up with someone who seems to be in a close and intimate LTR and with hugh expectations out of me, even though that isn’t necessary what I was looking for in the first place.

 

Another aspect I want to improve is using my new skills to communicate more efficiently in professional areas of my life, namely with my students (I teach a lot), neighbors, female friends and so on. Having used BT spikes and kino on an Airbnb guest actually created a really quick connection, which I had never experienced before speaking for hours in the past. I really wish I could apply this to more areas of my life – even all the way to joking with taxi drivers or people who don’t « matter ».

In the future I also want to work on being a better wingman for my friends, being able to create a group dynamic, involve a whole group, keep obstacles away from targets for more than 2 minutes.

Another aspect I need to improve on is moving girls, especially with kino’ing is hard. This is a bit harder when you are afraid to ‘disturb’ or bother ‘see assertiveness issues) but I do hope this will improve as I run more approaches.

 

I also need to work on my hero stories. There are several successes I’m proud of but I don’t know exactly how to make a great hero story out of them. On top of my head :

- Speaking 6 languages

- Being always learning

- Having uncommon skills – magic, accordion, piano, guitar, hacking, virtually perfect geography

 

I also need to be able to verbalize some aspects of my life that haven’t improved as much as I wish they had, namely wasting my life procrastinating depite having several entrepreneurship ideas, being broke (comparatively speaking), not in shape, with poor fashion skills or failing to confront my abusive household

 

I could carry on and on about other takeways and points I want to improve but I have been postponing this FR for more than 3 weeks now as I wanted to use it as a document of reference I could always keep on my phone as in-the-moment cheat list. But once again procrastinating go the better of me so I have accepted to type this in a ‘good enough is good enough’ way.

 

To wrap it up, here are some other points I still want to improve:

 

-Plowing. I still eject too fast from my sets. Usually as soon as I run out of things to say, which is still pretty early in the interaction - sometimes just a few exchanges. Which brings me to the 2nd point

-Knowing canned material - the structure is still unclear in my head. I need to memorize once and for all the general structure:

-Moving girls when necessary – I like your fingernails, What color are they? Why? I like when girls put effort on their appearance

- Approaching girls in a group – I still have no strong idea as how to do that after the ‘introduce me to your friends line’

 

I am also using this FR as a cheat sheet for the chronological steps to run and therefore intend to practice the following steps to make my game smoother. I am going to take RPQ’s advice and learn it by heart to be able to speak for 5 minutes by myself.

 

1. Opening,

- Appearance : your trousers have holes, did you get in a fight?

- You're fearing fur! Did you kill him yourself? What did you use, arrow, knife, bazooka?

- When does this place get busy?

- Face: your English is really good! I understand your accent very well.

- Face: you are friendly. Chinese people are very friendly

- Improv Game ( --> don't know how to use that one, especially so early in the interaction)

 

2. BT Spikes

- Where are you from? Mexico, America? No way!

- Ooooh, Dongbei girls are dangerous…. They can seduce / bully a man.

- What do you do- wait, I'll guess.. McDonald's! ... KFC! ... Pizza Hut!

- How old are you? 18?... 17?... 16! You're too young, go away !

- Reverse: you guess where I'm from, guess my age, guess my job. (what do you think I look like? army guy, IT guy?)

- Have you been to France?? Have you been to France? Why not? :'( You wanna go there for the frog legs, perfume or handsome guys? What would you do if you went to France tomorrow ?

- BS Palmread (you are gonna have 12 kids)

- BS Coldread (you work at McDonalds)

- We're getting married! Where do we go on our honeymoon?

- Appearances: An IELTS book, no wonder your English is so good! You look like the girl on the book

- Handshakes to root them: Have you ever been approached by a foreigner before? Today is your opportunity! (keep the hand for a while)

 

DAY GAME

- Logistics discovery - What are you doing now?

a. (waiting for friend) - Oh, shuaige or meinu? Ooooh, I understand ! I'm waiting for a friend too, we're going to go to Starbucks in 10 minutes (FTC)

b. Buying stuff --> (then what?)

 

NIGHT GAME BT SPIKES:

- What color are my eyes (stare)? Are you sure? Let me see what color are yours.

- Hand Compare (U must be good at massages), Feet Compare, Height Compare (kino opposite shoulder)

 

3. Qualification = what you like about her

- Can you cook? I like women who can take care of their family.

- If I gave you a plane ticket right now, where would you go?

- If I gave you 1 wan RMB right now, what would you do? Why? Why not X?

- Say something you like about her

- Ask what she likes about you

- Share personal stuff

-I like spending time with girls with a beaming smile cuz it makes me feel fuzzy inside. If I have a bad day, I just look at you and feel better. It's like you're my personal ray of sunshine.

 

- You know what I like about you? I like the fact you do things that you think are good and not what just other people tell you to. Many Chinese people just do what their parents say and end up sad and unhappy (for married chicks)

 

4. PIE,

Seed

 

Time Bridge

 

Comfort

- Cube Game

- If you could achieve one dream in life, what would it be?

- How would you feel? You see, the real goal is this feeling. You've just had it. You can die happy now.

 

- Non-judgmental story: a family member got pregnant, I was the only one to support her because other people aren't the ones dealing with the problem at the end of the day (married chicks)

 

- Hero story (in Comfort, right guys?) - making it to a business school despite failing 2 levels, following a girl I was crazy about to America when I was 17 and working illegally (dunno if I should tell a story involving another girl though)

 

- Weakness:

 

SEDUCTION

- ASD = because of how she feels about herself (solution = qualification??) -->

- Do you like guitar? Playing or listening? If you've got time, I'll show you a little. Come check it out and I 'll send you home after (plausible deniability)

- LMR = lack of comfort and qualification -->

- We're friends and friends give the best to each other. You're an emotional vampire- I give you value, why don't you care about me?

- I know you have a husband, I don't want you to cheat on him. If you just bang a random guy that's cheating.

 

 

 

 

Future readings:

- The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida

- The Sex God Method, Daniel Rose

 

Also

- The Power of Myth

- The Hero with 1,000 Faces

- Boing Boing Stoicism

- Guide to the Good Life

 

GENERAL TIPS

- Give them an experience of being driven by a bus - know your logistics and the next step

- Give them assistance & suggestions for conversation (France? Is it for the frog legs, the perfumes or the handsome French men?)

-

 

TEXTING SEMINAR

- I have a boyfriend  I have a rabbit.

 

Last but not least, the bootcamp (followed by the texting seminar) was a great step in my life. However, there was no way I could reach the level I wanted in just a weekend and it turns out that it was less of a new life than a first step into a new world, where I must keep improving very day. In other terms, I thought it would be a race I could finish in 48 hours, but it turned out to be the beginning of a marathon.

I am very glad to be part of the community. I hope it can give me the motivation that I need to keep running in this marathon. I look forward to meeting the guys again.

I have gone out already twice since the bootcamp for both night game and day game and both were TERRIBLE – couldn’t get a single reaction at Le Baron (and even got punched by a boyfriend) and yesterday’s day game at Xintiandi was also pretty lame as I struggled with AA and ended up just making a comment to 3 girls before ejecting. – said the three of them together looked like a French flag, to which they laughed and said they had seen Jackson and I in a shop a bit earlier in the afternoon. Sounds like they actually wanted to be approached, hah.

Long stories short, this bootcamp was GREAT but I am already pretty close to getting stuck now. Thanks everyone for reading, thanks to Kane for his patience and guidance, thanks to RedpoleQ for his time and expertise and thanks to the guys for making this possible and giving me the motivation to try to get to your level.

Cheers!