It has been four weeks since I completed PickupAsia’s Approach Mastery Bootcamp.
As the BC date neared I was thinking to myself what the hell am I doing?!! Going in to clubs, bars, coffee shops, on the street, malls, wherever to approach and try and pick up beautiful women?!! Uh hold up here. Wasn’t I busy doing something else for that weekend?
Well that was part of my thought process at the time but another bigger part was that I am going to change my life no matter what and the BC is the first step.
Itaewon Nightgame 03/26/10
So on Friday evening I rolled in to Itaewon and up to the Bungalow to meet with RedpoleQ and my fellow BC participants Crazy Horse, Epicjourney, and Further. Vigoroso was also there sitting in for part of the BC as an alumni.
RPQ brought us up to speed on some of the basic theory of game behind elements of attraction and so forth. We were also told what we would be trying to accomplish this first night, which was mainly opening sets, working with a wing and getting some attraction going with BT spikes. We left the Bungalow sometime after 11pm and headed up the hill to JJs at the Hyatt. Before going in RPQ gave a demonstration on how to spin a girl with your arm.
As we entered the main bar area I was feeling pretty anxious but super excited as well. RPQ instructed me to go approach a 3 set with bringing in a wing later. These girls turned out to be Korean-Russian with Russian accents so that was an interesting first set. They were fairly friendly but I was clueless as how to proceed even after Epicjourney came in to wing. I remember RPQ pushing me in closer at one point. A lot of the sets after that were a blur as RPQ had us going in one after another. It was all very surreal. A few hooked while many didn’t.
I learned very quickly how stopping a moving set is quite an art in itself and that I sucked at it. I either was too hesitant in my body language in which the girls would just blow past me or I’d be too in their faces. RPQ would come give me shit for that.
I did get a few good sets going initially with my different wings or solo but most stalled in attraction because I couldn’t think of anything to BT spike with and the girls got bored. I was getting stuck in my head.
Working with a wing was something I had never done and it took a little practice to get used to. I would forget to accomplish intro my wing most times and be aware of isolating the target or occupying the obstacle properly depending on whether I had opened the set or not. RPQ would come and tell us to eject which was always a relief at this point.
The thing I found the most challenging was when making the initial approach on a set before even saying a word and they were already looking and turning away from you with a pissed off look on their face. I knew it was their bitch shields but how do you generate any attraction when they won’t even listen to your opener?
It wasn’t an easy night out at JJs but I was also realizing how much I was learning already through my mistakes. My biggest realization was that rejection is survivable. It wasn’t as devastating as I used to take it. I saw that we all go through it. As BlueMystery once told me before the BC, “ It’s what we do in spite of rejection.” I was starting to understand that now.
After JJs we went back down to the main strip, tried a couple of venues that either had line ups too long or were just not happening. We ended up outside of Spy Bar trying to decide our next move. There was a 2 set over by the entrance looking like they were waiting for someone. RPQ told me to go open them asking them how Spy Bar was inside.
I went over and used the opener, with them responding they didn’t know because they hadn’t been inside yet. I immediately started some BT spikes teasing them for being out past their bedtime which got an immediate laugh. I used some more attraction bits along with some light kino then went in to some qualification(even though this wasn't required yet) stating they must be pretty adventurous for being out so late or were they just lost? They qualified that they were yes adventurous and not lost. From this point the conversation started to stall because I got nervous and couldn’t think of what to say next. I noticed that RPQ was busy getting the other participants lined up with something so I ejected from the set saying I was going to go in to Spy to see what was up. Went down to a completely dead scene so right back up outside to the glaring eyes of RPQ with the where the hell were you look?
So back in set I went. I had thought I was talking to 2 K-girls but my target actually turned out to be Mongolian and hot she was. 23 years old with a smoking body from what her painted on jeans were telling me. Just some general fluff talk for a few minutes then I got can’t think of what to say syndrome again and ejected once more going back to where RPQ was standing. He met me with a puzzled look and asked why I had ejected not accepting my chode excuse and telling me to get my ass back in there. So back I go. Shortly thereafter entered Epicjourney who proceeded to do an excellent job of occupying the obstacle while I reengaged my target. Before the conversation got started again she told me she was cold. I noticed a small bar right beside Spy Bar that was open and immediately put my arm out escort style like RPQ had shown us and that I first learned about in Vision’s BC FR. As I motioned with my head saying ,”let’s go in here” she instantly complied taking my arm and in we went getting seated at the standup bar. Epicjourney sat at the end of the standup bar continuing to do a great job of occupying the obstacle.
I sat seat facing directly to my target with our knees touching. We were right in to Comfort doing personal exchange information sharing. I held both her hands until she pulled one away to start rubbing my thigh. Cool! She was completely ignoring her friend the whole time. I found out she was only in Korea another week and said she hadn’t had a great time yet. She downed a double Jack Daniels to my half a cider and ordered another JD. I moved as close to her as possible maintaining good EC throughout although I didn’t know about triangular gazing yet. It was the best comfort I had done in a long time as I told her some of the reasons I ended up in Korea and she shared bits about her life in Mongolia.
It was at this point that RPQ came back and told us to eject. It was time for the debriefing at Tom Tom’s. My target didn’t have a phone and her friend was very hesitant to offer hers after I asked for her number. I quickly got a piece of paper and wrote my number down and gave it to my target and was gone. I know that’s total chode but I didn’t know how else to handle it at the time.
My target was down for a ONS I was almost certain. She had asked where my hotel was and if I was up for partying all night. She was scoping my logistics! She had this look of disbelief on her face that this “cool” guy she was with where things were escalating was leaving. “ Why do you have to go so soon?” she asked. I couldn’t tell her the reason of course but told her to contact me in about an hour. She never did. It was pretty much done when I ‘suddenly’ left. In her mind it must have been like some kind of rejection of her from me I’m surmising. Well I was on a BC and that was that. I’ll admit it was hard to leave but I had made my commitment to do the BC and I was going to do everything the right way. It has turned out to be strong clarification of what it means to be abundancy-minded and a good lesson in that.
The ironic thing was that if RPQ had not been there to tell me to approach I never would have in the first place. And he had to send my ass back in the set. After a rough first night this last set was very encouraging. As Epicjourney later wrote me in an email, “now we know what is possible.”
At Tom & Tom’s RPQ took us through the night’s debriefing. I did a few things well. Many many things I could improve on and had my key realizations. Two I have already touched on. Rejection is not a statement on who I am. Other people’s reactions don’t define me. Secondly anything is possible when you are willing to try.
Saturday Day 2 Coex Mall 03/27/10
We all met up at the food court at COEX mall at 3pm. Vigoroso joined us again and Vision came out a little later for a couple of hours. Both of these guys were always positive and encouraging. It felt good to see alumni out and supporting us who had already been through the same experience.
RPQ took us through what we would be trying to implement from the Phase 5 cycle. We were to work on qualifying our targets, along with opening and attraction as well as improving our winging skills.
My first set was a 2 set in which I used my yogurt opener asking my target if it was fat free or not. The set ended up with me following her to a convenience store as she showed me the fat free yogurt. It would have been a good set if I was demonstrating what getting stuck on the opener looked like. It was a perfect example of that as RPQ made clear.
I don’t recall the exact sequence of sets as again RPQ had us going at quite a clip. I remember approaching a solo HB 8 as she was walking pretty briskly and I was able to stop her with one arm leaning back a little and so didn’t freak her out (something RPQ had told us and that I would later completely forget about for night game). I used a directions opener. She responded very well to my “you look like Jasmine from the Disney movie Alladin BT spike and some more teasing. I tried to number close her but she threw in the BF objection. Was she telling the truth or not I couldn’t tell and I didn’t know where to proceed from there so I ejected.
There was then a two set shopping for shoes that I approached with Epicjourney as my wing. I can’t remember my exact opener but I do recall using some effective BT spikes such as finding the most obviously ugly pair of shoes and telling her she should purchase them. My target was a little taken aback by my approach and trying to resist talking to me. In this set I felt I plowed really good in spite of her resistance and I could see her visibly warming up to me. This taught me how plowing can be effective. I used some light arm and hand touching as incidental kino while qualifying her and tried to number close her but the obstacle was quite challenging in this set and we ejected.
The best set of the afternoon was a 2 set that Epicjourney opened as they walked by with me in the wing role. EJ’s obstacle was very cute as well as his target so it was fun winging this set. I was able to separate the obstacle by having her give her opinion on some of the fashions on display in the shop windows. I got a text from RPQ telling me to lean back and try and bounce her. Both EJ and I were able to bounce them to the bookstore and the whole set went really well with a number close to boot. There were better sets than others with that one being the best of the afternoon. Just the fact I was approaching and interacting more than a few minutes with women I had never met before was a huge jump in my PU development.
We met at 10:30 that night at Tom & Tom’s in Gangnam for our briefing before our night game session which would be at Mass with Padalin joining us. We were to work on setting time bridges, # closing and bouncing a target if possible. I had never been to Mass before. It was packed full and blaring loud with the light show full on. An atmosphere that could really overwhelm me if I let it. I
Again as at JJs I was often too slow to approach moving sets being too tentative and reaction seeking. Other times I would be in the girl’s faces too much setting off their flight responses. I was not engaging everyone in the set and this would blow me out. RPQ reminded me to smile more. I had certain moments where I felt a little defeated but RPQ wouldn’t let me give up. He kept pushing me and gave me shit when I needed it. I was pretty up and down in my emotions that night but progressed in spite of it. Further and I winged quite a bit and the man was a revelation. He really helped me along when I was down and together we made plowing an art form. I remember him telling me, “let’s just keep in set until they run away”. To just focus on staying in set no matter what. That was very helpful. Later I would witness Further who seemed so reserved at our first meeting tearing up the dance floor at Mass and bringing a ton of positive energy to the night.
On one of our sets I tried to bounce my target to Burger King but she wasn’t down saying she wasn’t hungry. I tried to get her moving as RPQ had told us to do but I couldn’t overcome her hesitancy. It was in this set that RPQ came up behind me and locked me in with my target.
I didn’t wing too much with Epicjourney that night but I observed him with some of the hottest women I’d ever seen staying in set and engaging well. He seemed so much more confident than just the night before. This helped me to stay in state because it was very encouraging.
The final set of the night I winged Crazy Horse on a 2 set by the dance floor stand up bar. CH had lost his voice from the night before and couldn’t speak. RPQ had told him to mime his way through the night. It had been fun watching him earlier when I could. The man was hooking sets without saying a word. I wish I had it on video. Anyway as CH sarged I engaged the obstacle who was very cute. It was almost impossible to hear anybody where we were so but I just busted on her for being the bad girl and poking her, singing with her arm (credit BlueM)and dancing with her. CH had his target fully enraptured with his miming which was fascinating to observe. I number closed my girl and out to Burger King with the crew to debrief.
My biggest revelation of the night was how important it was to stay with it no matter what. To stay at it. To survive a woman’s disapproval as RPQ put it. Another was how having a good wing and being a good wing can help a sarge progress much further than it might otherwise.
It wasn’t the easiest night of my life but it was one of the best because I learned so much and what I was capable of doing if I just pushed myself. The BC was proving to be so valuable because no matter your skill level you couldn’t help but learn and improve in pick up.
Day 3 Myeong-dong Daygame 03/28/10
For the start of the third day we met at a Starbucks in a small four storey mall in Myeong-dong for our day’s briefing. We went over future projections and creating our hero stories. Off we go on our own in the mall making our approaches. My first approach was an HB 8 in a store that reminded me of the dollar stores back home. I asked her what some cleaning product was as an opener and then right in to attraction. Everything went really well and I TB and number closed her. The day 2s were always a challenge as I live in Daejeon and so had at least a week before I could set the day 2. But it was all great practice.
I felt great that last day of the BC. In the mall I made about 10 approaches and with the hottest girls I could find on most sets. Some were responsive, some not. I TB and number closed one other girl in the mall. I tried a “you look like my ex GF opener on a HB10+ in Zara. She responded, “I don’t think so” as she walked away from me. I was so happy. Why? Not because she said something and of course not because she walked away but due to the fact that I had the balls to approach a girl that hot. I never would have done that on my own before the BC. Never. That was such a huge leap for me. We spent a couple of hours in the mall and then out to do some street game. Dealing with moving sets again was tough. I kept forgetting to tap girls to get them to stop and listen to my opener or I was either too slow to approach. RPQ clearly let me know too that saying excuse me as the first thing out of my mouth was not the way to go.
Overall the day went quite well. I made a lot of approaches and could feel my fear of approaching lessen dramatically. I felt a lot more confident in spite of my mistakes.
We went to a Krispy Creme in the early evening to debrief. Just as we got settled there we were treated to a decent looking Korean girl enjoying her ice cream cone. She would definitely give good BJs. A nice addition to the closing end of the BC. RPQ summarized the whole BC process and what we could take from the experience. We all had our sticking points of course but at least now we were aware of them and could therefore work on them.
RPQ then treated us to dinner at a Samgypsai restaurant and welcomed us in to the community. It was here that we chose our PU handles. I chose Quantumleap. A quantum leap is defined as, “ a sudden large increase or advance”. At four weeks past the BC I don’t feel worthy of that yet but compared to where I was before, the distance I’ve gone in PU is enormous.
The biggest realization for me has been that I can get better with women. All that is required is really wanting to. You have to truly want it and be willing to endure the bumps along the way. The BC gave me the road map. Now it’s up to me to follow it. I’m committed to doing that every day until I’ve got pick up handled. The BC was an unforgettable start on that journey.