Singapore Bootcamp (February 2010)

[Upshift]

Greetings fellow men!

 

It was almost one month that I finished my Approach Mastery Bootcamp in Singapore. I had been looking forward to that moment for almost a year. I read around the internet, got myself a few books, listened to a few tapes and watched the odd videos. But when, no visible, concrete result was obtained, I decided to take the next step. I set my heart on a bootcamp! After a much prolonged search, I signed up for a bootcamp, rumored to be the best in the land and conducted by a genius.

 

I had high expectation of the bootcamp and it is safe to say that I was not disappointed. The whole 3 days experience would have been one of the most exhilarating, emotionally draining, mind-blowing and uplifting thing that has ever happened to me.

 

But wait, how the hell did I get there in the first place?

 

Yes, yes, I’m the freak.

 

I’m the Muslim boy who decided to dwell into the art of picking up women and not believe in sex before marriage.

 

I attended 7 years in an all-boys Arabic school, and my interaction with women was limited to family members. I saw little value in being physically active, so I was a fat kid and was at my worse weight at 85kg (for a 5ft7 boy, that’s quite bad). I was a victim of severe bullying at school and my confidence and esteem took a terrible beating. I avoided unnecessary human interaction and spent most of my time alone. So at 18, I was fat, socially crippled and depressed.

 

Then I decided to change it all!

 

I discovered the whole idea of personal development, and everything went off from there. I took up sports (football mainly), worked on my social skills and be a generally better person. I was happier, more confident and I could talk to girls!

 

I had my first girlfriend at the age of 20, was totally in love, dated for a year, talked about marriage, family and growing old and then, got dumped because I “wasn’t a man enough”.

 

OUCH!

 

This made me even more determined to work on myself and after much research, I discovered that a Pick-Up Artist embodies a lot of characteristics, mentality and skills that I would like to have. I wanted to be good with women and people in general. I wanted to develop an abundance mentality. I wanted to cultivate a care-free, non-judgmental attitude in life.

 

I wanted to be a Pick-Up Artist.

 

In truthfulness, I found it quite weird as well. As RedpoleQ pointed out to me during our pre-bootcamp call that he has NEVER EVER taught anyone as conservative as me, and that he felt that I won’t get as much value from the bootcamp because of my views.

 

Holy crap! He is actually dissuading me from giving him money!

 

I told him that I will get what I can out of the bootcamp and decide for myself which ones I would take and which ones I would leave behind.

So RPQ decided to let me come to the bootcamp and learn from him, and so began my journey.

 

Day 1 – Night game (Clarke Quays)

 

I was running through the subway station, getting myself as fast as I could to the meet-up venue. I was 15 mins late! Not a good start. When I got there, I realized I had no idea how RedpoleQ looks like. So I spent a good 5 mins walking around, trying to spot anyone who looked like a divine guru. I think it was because of my time spent watching ‘The Pick-up Artist’, but I had this image in my head that my future teacher would have been this tall, dangly, pale, heavily peacock-ed oddball.

 

Stranger: Ease? (my old pen-name)

Me: RedpoleQ?

Stranger: Alright. Sorry I’m late.

Me: ........ Nah.... it’s okay *image shattered*

 

We decided to go grab dinner at Hooters and while waiting for the other bootcamp participant (LimeLight) to come, we tried to get to know each other more. RPQ once again mentioned how he found it funny that someone like myself was taking a bootcamp, and he took a pleasure out of it by coming up tons of jokes.

 

We went over the basic material after LimeLight (LL) showed up - the 5 phase cycle, basic wing-ing, body language, being a man etc. I have to admit that, at that time, I was really uncomfortable with talking about it in the open, surrounded by a lot of people, who are giving us weird looks and right there, RPQ was talking loud and confidently and basically, not give a crap about what everyone else thinks. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!

 

Once RPQ set the night’s objectives and his expectation of us (CRASH AND BURN!!!), we got out from our seats and into the streets! I was feeling enthusiastic, energized and ready to have some fun! That feeling lasted 15 mins.

 

The 1st set I opened gave me disgusted looks when I asked them what time it was. The 2nd set immediately turned their bodies away from me as I approached and in the 3rd set, a two-set, one of the girls dragged the other away, and they both skipped away, looking at me like I was a runaway murderer.

 

RPQ: Its two taps on the shoulder! Don’t lean in, don’t rush into them and SMILE!

 

It wasn’t going well at all, and the night had JUST begun.

 

We got ourselves into Attica and went around the club for the ‘walkthrough’. Some of the girls looked really nice tonight. I feel nervous thinking about them and after my ‘warm-up sets’ going all bad, I felt zero confidence. CRASH AND BURN, RPQ reminded us and with that, he pushed LL into a group of tall hot Swedish girls, and after a few minutes, pushed me into the group as well.

 

My mind went overdrive thinking crappy thoughts while I was yapping about absolutely nothing. ‘‘WTF are these hot girls doing talking to me!’ and ‘Holy crap! she’s smiling and she’s laughing? Holy crap, what do I do now!’

 

Running out of things to say, I ejected. I felt quite good about myself in the view that I didn’t get blown out and I walked towards RPQ with a smile on my face.

 

RPQ: Why did you eject! Those girls were talking to you! and, look at those LEGS!

Me: I ran out of things to say!

RPQ: Get back in there! *RPQ pushes me right into the middle of the group*

Swedish HBs: *silence*

Me: Yeah... hmmm... sorry about that *eject*

RPQ: WHAT THE FUCK!

 

Once LL ejected as well and we got ourselves an RPQ exclusive ‘you-have-to-push-your-limits-or-you’re-wasting-your-and-especially-MY-time’ lecture, we moved on to other sets. We took turns opening sets up, but most likely never staying too long to be able to bring the wing in.

 

While in the smoking area, I managed to spot a girl with a bare-back dress, with a cute flower tattoo on her lower back. RPQ saw me looking and pushed me into what I initially thought was a 2-set. Once I got there, it turned out to be mixed 3 set, with the obstacles being a couple. I went in with the ‘What time does this club close’ opener and found myself hugely attracted to HBTattoo. The couple talked to each other, so I spent time talking to the target. I throw in some weak BT spikes, hi-fiving her over small things and tried qualifying and to my surprise, she was responding very well. She left with the couple back into the dance floor and I made my way back to RPQ, who said ‘Good job’ and pointed out that I should have done more kino. It wasn’t much but I finally did something right!

 

LL managed to open up blonde danish 2-set near the bar, and after a while he called me in. I talked to other girl who was facing the bar the whole time and not even turning around to acknowledge that I was there. After talking at the back of her head for a good 2 minutes, she muttered 'Get away from me please' and I complied. By now, I didn't find these blow-out as hurtful anymore. I realized that being 'rejected' isn't really that bad and heck, some of them are even quite funny. With that I feel more relaxed and not so fixed on the outcome of the approaches.

 

After opening up a few more sets in the loud clubbing area (with not much success), we went back to the smoking area where I opened up a 2-set. They were both extremely attractive but I had my eye on the taller fairer one. I called LL to come over and managed to get the 'bad girl' bit awfully wrong. So I ended up talking to the shorter one. I spent time talking with her and found that she was pretty cool. I'm BT spiking, qualifying and employing some light kino touches, and generally having a good time

 

She told that both of them came from an all-girls Arabic school and as an act of rebellion are now living life in the opposite way of how they were raised. Awesome! LL ejected and I ended up talking to both of them, and enjoying it. It was the longest time I spent in a set and if it weren't for LL dragging me away from them, I would have stayed there the whole night!

 

RPQ congratulate us on the set well done, and after a few more sets, we went back out on the streets. We opened a few more which were forgettable (we were awful) and then, called it a night. We spent an hour on the debrief at a near-by subway.

 

We went over the sets and learning points, and RPQ was firm with us, especially with how we frame our thoughts. He insisted us to stop focusing on what we did wrong, but instead take that exact same thing and find what we could learn from it, and how we could be better next time around. If RPQ weren’t pick-up artist, he’d be an awesome self-help guru!

 

We agreed on meet-up location and time for the next day, left to our hotels and rested for DAY 2 of bootcamp

 

DAY 2 – Part 1 – Day Game (Orchard Road)

 

We met up and made our way to a fast-food chain. On the way, both LL and myself told RPQ of our realization. It turned out that LL had as little sleep as I did (maybe less) as we pondered on how badly we did the night before. RPQ then humbled us by saying that we are expected to be horrible at it, we weren’t we would have to take the bootcamp in the first place, and who were we to expect that we’d be good at it on the first night!

 

We went to a fast-food chain and grabbed breakfast/lunch, and we went over the continuation of the phase cycle, the whole idea of seeding and bouncing. We went over the basic thing to do with day game and the difference of it with night game.

 

In the middle of the session, RPQ suddenly stopped talking and had a horror/disgusted look on his face. He nodded at the direction of a fat chick, wearing clothes that revealed too much of herself at places you hope she didn’t and walking hand in hand with a guy. “I don’t get why anyone would want to go for a donkey”, he said. “But then I’m happy because they’ll leave all the hot and cute ones to us!” AWESOME!

 

Once we finished our brief and a quick trip to the toilet, which RPQ insist is just a way to delay approaching girls (he’s not 100% wrong), we made our way around the city. We opened a few nice warm-up sets, which went well in comparison to the ones from the night before. We came across a petite hot girl sitting on her own, looking bored as hell and LL was made to open. This was the part where he went through a little bit of drama (more details found in his report)

 

All the while that we were there and RPQ motivating/man-handling LL, I noticed a red-headed girl eavesdropping on us. She looked pretty interested in what RPQ were saying/shouting and I pointed out to RPQ that we had an intruder. He, then, asked me to approach and I went in telling her that it is rude to eavesdrop. I, then, asked her about rollercoaster and after a few minutes, I ejected. Feeling quite good about myself with my first real day approach, I went back to where LL and RPQ were.

 

As you all must have guessed it, this wasn’t good enough for RPQ. He made me go back and “stay there!”. I re-opened her and after a few minutes of talking about random things, I ejected. “Surely RPQ would let me off the hook if I said I ran out of things to say!”. NOPE! He pushed me back into it and now I’m feeling REALLY nervous. I’m opening the same girl for the 3rd time now, and I somehow manage to find things to talk about and she was more engaging this time around. I stayed for a few more minutes and upon seeing LL re-opening the petite hot girl, I went back to RPQ. We waited for LL to get back, with a huge smile on his face and muttering “I HATE YOU” to RPQ. “I know.” Haha, quite an amazing start to the day.

 

We continued opening girls up, but never going beyond qualifying. We still didn’t manage to seed or time-bridge. On our quest to get to the other side of the road (Singapore is a bit harsh on daredevil J-walkers, asking them to cough up a good US $150 for anyone who got caught), I opened a girl in her work clothes, smoking outside a café. I asked her for directions and after a few topic threads, I found myself sitting next to her and having an actual interaction. Things were going well and then, she picked up her phone and started walking away, leaving her handbag next to me.

 

The call was going on for a while, and at this point I didn’t know if I were to leave or stay put. My gentleman side tells me to stay and look over her things, but my I looked over to RPQ for some advice he might be able to transmit non-verbally since we were quite far away. All I could make out what he said was “NICE LEGS!”. Thanks man.

 

Just then, she came back, phone still on her, and said sorry and “stay for awhile, it’ll only take a minute”. WOW! Hot girl I just met a few minutes ago is telling me to stay put! She came back and told me that she was going to meet a friend and going off to the bookstore. We talked for a bit, teasing and getting reverse kino and after a while, the friend, a dude, came by. I told them that bookstore date is cool, then HBNiceLegs jumped in and said they were just friends (to the obvious shock on the guy’s face. haha). I bid them farewell and went back to LL and RPQ, who told me I did a good job BUT should have number-closed her before the guy came in! I will NEVER have a problem of being complacent with him around!

 

We carried on with approaching, until I came across 2 very cute girls. I went up to them and ask them about what to do in Singapore. I managed to startle one of the girls with my over anxious approaching body-language (walking too fast, leaning in) and she ended up awkwardly giggling most of the first few minutes. I pointed it out to her (something RPQ said I shouldn’t do) and she mentioned that strangers don’t really talk to each other in Singapore. I bullshit about the fact that everyone talks to everyone where I came from and told them that they give out a warm vibe, which made me approach them in the first place. They warmed up after that (to comply my expectations of them?) and HBGiggles started giving me kino and laughing at all the lame comments that I make. I maintain that those are good signs, but before I manage to bring LL to wing for me, they told me that they had to rush to get to meet up friends. RPQ told me later that I should have brought in LL WAYYYYY before in the interaction.

 

Finally, we settled down with the debrief and I told RPQ that I’m loving Day Game so much more than club game. It was a good days work and I learned so much. At this point of the bootcamp, I have spoken to more hot girls (in the space of 24 hours) than I have ever done in 22 years! I we still had 2 days to go. I was excited. But with another night session coming up, I felt a mix of nerves and excitement, and it turned out to be a huge drama of a night

DAY 2 – Part 2 – Night Game (Butter Factory)

 

We met up at McD again, at Clarke Quays and this time, we ran materials on seduction – triangle-gazing, questions games, proper vocal use and the strawberry fields. At this point, I was a believer that what RPQ taught so far were solid stuff, but I had a hard time thinking that you could actually make a woman feel sexual through the use of my eyes, voice and series of questions.

 

Before I could voice my opinion, RPQ decided to show us how to run the Strawberry Fields onto one of the girls sitting next to us. By shear of luck, the pair were the exact two from the night before, dressed up as stewardesses outside Attica. LL and myself tried opening the girls, but (as expected) didn’t do so well. So after some casual talk for about 5 mins, RPQ slide over to the cuter one (Baby), and start running the Fields.

 

AND… IT… WAS… AMAZING!

 

She had that look on her face! RPQ had only been talking to her for maximum 10 mins and already you could see it on her face that this girl wanted him BAD~ I was impressed, LL was impressed and RPQ was IMPRESSIVE! I can’t wait to try this out tonight!

 

We left the two girls and went out of McD and, after a minor confusion and mix-up with directions, manage to get ourselves to Butter Factory, where “the women are all plastic”, according to Baby. After the walkthrough, I was starting to get pretty nervous, but told myself that I’m out to learn and have fun, and if I don’t approach, then it’s as good as staying home watching useless Korean drama crap on TV, and then WISHING I could meet someone as cute as them actresses.

 

So we started approaching, and maybe it was the crowd, or it was me gaining more experience, but things went a lot better. I didn’t have anyone wishing me to leave them alone. I didn’t see a lot of negative body language, but if I did, I notice it didn’t stay for long. I was touching them more often, and generally, having a much better time.

 

We manage to open a lot of ‘money’ sets, but one that stood out the set that I refer to the ‘3 set from hell’

 

It started with me asking two girls at the bar if they know what time the place closes. Then, I called LL in, indicated my target and we went off from there. The girl I talked to did yoga, likes hikes and had an optimistic, curious outlook on life, and she had one of the nicest body I have ever seen. I was qualifying her, and teasing her to bits, but at this point, my hands weren’t anywhere near her and her back was leaning onto the bar.

 

I knew I had to switch the position and start getting closer to her, but I didn’t know how to. Then, out of the blue, I feel a hand grab mine and put it on her mid-back. At the same time, I felt a push on my hip, and in a jumble of awkward movement, found my back leaning on the bar, with HBYoga close to me. In shock, I looked to my right and saw RPQ just moving away from me. HOLY CRAP, how the hell did he do that? I looked back at the HBYoga and she didn’t notice a thing, or at least doing a good job, not noticing. I carried out the conversation for another few minutes, until… disaster struck.

 

Turned out that there was another girl with them, in a sexy all-white dress, who just got back from the toilet – and she was the alpha chick (if there was such thing). The new girl was a 9 and she knew it! She came it without acknowledging me and LL and started to gesture/bully the other girls to come with her, away from us. LL engaged her and tried holding conversation with the 2 obstacles, while I talk to my girl.

 

But I kept an eye on the HBWhite, and could see that her attention level wasn’t that high. It seemed that if LL didn’t make eye contact with her for more than 2s, she started tugging the girls away again. RPQ explained later that this is common when the hot one of the group wasn’t getting the attention that she is used to.

 

So I whenever, I see that HBWhite was losing interest, I tried engaging her and ignored HBYoga. In the confusion and lack of communication between me and LL, we ended up looking like a big jungle of blabbering mess, and HBWhite seemed more determined to bring the girls away. Then, I heard a shout to my left and there he was, RPQ with veins popping up on his neck and temple, and shouting on top of his lung. “WHO IS TALKING TO THE GIRL IN WHITE? WHOS TALKING TO THE GIRL IN WHITE!?!?!?!”

 

That made LL and myself panicked more and eventually, HBWhite managed to wrestle the girls away from us, leaving us to feel the wrath of RPQ fury! And, he was angry! He said we should have paid more attention to the new girl, make her feel engaged or probably call RPQ in to deal with her or probably something else. In fact, ANYTHING would have been good, instead of just standing there being hopeless.

 

FUHHH! It was intense, but it didn’t last long. We made our way into another section of the club and started approaching more girls. I managed to engage quite a few more girls, but none were as memorable as the set from hell. At the end, we called it a night just after 3 in the morning. We had a de-brief at Subway again, and I pointed out to him that I had more fun at this club than the previous ones, and it turned out that I actually like Night game now.

 

I realized that no two nights would be identical. Some nights would go well, some wont. It would be a lot better for me to take it as my responsibility to make it as fun as I could for myself and for those around me, and this comes with experience. With that, we closed the night and went our separate ways, but not before managing to bump into Baby again, who sprint towards RPQ upon seeing him and got lifted up, cave-man style.

Damn, this guy is good!

 

DAY 3 – Sentosa Island and closing

 

The final day was promised to be a relaxing day, and RPQ held on to his words.

 

After running late to meet him, we started talking about the Comfort stage and we were introduced to the art of 'story telling' and the concept of hero stories. After a demonstration from RPQ, he gave us time to remember some of our own stories and structure it in a way that it was as entertaining as it could be. I told the story about the time I manage to drive my car into a drain, a week after getting my driving license.

 

After telling the story, RPQ then gave me tips on how to improve it. For one, it was too long. (I realize I have a tendency to take too much time and space in telling my stories as per above). He, then, proceeded to tell my stories from the way HE would tell it. It was a weird feeling to have someone else tell your story, and doing a better job at it. Nevertheless, I took his advices (most) to heart, and am now actively looking to improve my story-telling skills (amongst other things)

 

While in Sentosa, I managed to email-closed a girl who RPQ invited to come sit with us and listen to our stories. HBCommandments sat near us at the café that we were sitting at, and after falling asleep from reading a Christian book on marriage, she was convinced that hanging out with us would be more interesting that reading the book. After the exercises, LL and RPQ went to approach, while I stayed and talked to our guest. I managed to email close her, and then, went off to catch up with the rest.

 

They managed to open a two-set from Japan, and I winged for LL and talked to the girl who didn’t speak as much English. I could tell that she knew what I’m talking about, but had a hard time replying. So we communicated mostly with hand gestures, facial expressions and using actions with our bodies. And it was great fun. LL went on to have his very own adventure, which you guys could read from his Bootcamp and first LR.

 

After that, we started making our way back to the city, where I opened a Korean two-set on the way back, and also Danish two-set. I was particularly pleased with the fact that I approached the Danish pair in the subway, and by what LL said, had all guys around me looking on in envy. Though, I pulled out early (again), this time feeling uncomfortable talking to hot girls, the AFC part of me that I am still doing my best to beat up and kick out of my system.

 

Eventually we wind down at a fancy open air restaurant and RPQ ordered champagne (which he claimed he deserved after spending the weekend with me and LL). It was just a relaxingly nice experience with the three of us there and later joined by Ryker. We had a de-brief of the whole bootcamp and as an initiation phased, RPQ recommended me taking up the name Upshift, mostly because I kept telling him that the biggest thing that I am taking away from the bootcamp was the shift in the mentality, specifically, from scarcity to abundance.

 

The whole experience was full of ups and downs. There were a lot of highs and also quite a bunch load of disappointments. I went out of Singapore feeling more confident than I ever was before.

 

One of the opener that I used frequently at the time was ‘Where can I find roller-coasters here?’ I found mine in the form of this Bootcamp. And, like all good roller-coaster rides, it was heart stopping, adrenaline pumping, feet curling, and soul-shattering experience. I wanted it to end as soon as it started, but once it finished, I would tell myself that I would do it again in a heartbeat!

 

Thanks for the experience RPQ! and Thanks LL for being there on the journey with me. Let’s hope we won’t give RPQ this much trouble in the future

[RedpoleQ]

Dude, it was awesome rolling with you in Singapore.

 

I can't wait to get down there again, so bring out some more of your Muslim brothers so we can get them up to speed.