Approach Mastery Bootcamp Shanghai 2017/03/10

[MonteCristo]

About me:

I am at beginning of my 30s. I feel fortunate about my career and lifestyle. I like my job a lot and have a good opportunities and freedom within it. However I felt like I neglected relationship area of my life.

I have been leaving single lifestyle for few years now, and I feel like I need a change.

 

Before:

I met many girls, and felt ok approaching in random situations. Sometimes I even had surprisingly great results, being able to meet beautiful girls and build close connection with them in very short period of time.

However it was more to luck/mood and I did not feel I have much control over consistency of results. Also i felt it’s quite energy and time consuming so wanted to maximise my gains.

 

Motivation:

I really wanted to prioritize relationship area of my life and gain better control over it. My friend recommended me Kane, so I have flown to Shanghai to take bootcamp with him.

 

Goal:

 

At this stage my goal is to find a girl that I am crazy about and she falls in love with me to start a serious relationship. I should mention that at this moment I am very picky and I have set standards very high. Basically a top, very cute, beautiful and slim girl that is genuine, caring, easy going, fun, intelligent and have some talents (like design, photography, dancing music etc).

 

Sticking points:

 

- I can successfully approach a beautiful girl on a street and get contact (usually I prefer to ask for Facebook/wechat account), even we message each other after, but the problem starts usually when trying to schedule a date. Or girl is too busy, or she can not make up her mind to meet me, often it takes a lot of work (messaging over period of time) to schedule a proper date.

- If I go on a evening date with beautiful girl it usually works for me very well, we have fun conversation, physical contact and we likely end up having sex. However there were girls that I really liked but was not able to keep for longer. That is also the area where I would like to improve.

 

 

Bootcamp:

 

Bootcamp was a great experience, I really enjoyed talking with Kane and have learnt a lot. On each approach and theory session I have tried and learnt something new. One of the most memorable approaches was when I started talking to two young girls on the elevator staircase. One of those girls had a mask on but super cute eyes, and we had fantastic connection looking into each other eyes. We had a fun conversation with jokes even though their english was limited. It was quite hilarious due to my poor wingmen coordination, as Kane was signaling to turn them facing out each other, I was confused with directions so kept rotating them over in all different directions. )) I have not managed to meet her this time as I was leaving shanghai shortly after bootcamp, interesting thing about her was that she has a boyfriend (apparently now long distance) , but she is extremely responsive over text. Basically replying me immediately, texting all the time and asking questions. I have learnt she is 19. I stopped messaging her for now as I don't see where this can go due to long distance and potential boyfriend situation (she says she likes both him and me ).

 

Apart from organized and professional conducting of schedule I enjoyed Kane flexibility to answer questions as well as his generosity with time. For example one night after boot camp we spent chatting over whisky in lobby of my hotel.

 

 

Learnings:

 

- Learnt to keep conversation longer and do qualifications by asking girl question on qualities I like and then reward her for good answers. This was an eye opener because I realized this can be particularly important for super hot girls, which already know everyone is approaching them because of their looks, so its good to give them some additional reason of why we like them.

- I realized I could be much more direct and stronger with kino, in fact in some of those approaches I was very surprised that I could keep arms on girl or touch her for long time and she did not react negatively or moved away. It still can feel a bit awkward for me though, as sometimes I don't really feel there is a reason of such contact during casual conversation.

- Seeding! This was one of the biggest learnings, I learnt to mention some interesting activity I would like to do or share, observing if the girl is interested. If she is interested it would be used naturally to transition to the time bridge.

- Asking about logistics, current situation and schedule, i learnt to ask what they are doing here if they have any time constraints, who they are with and whats their typical schedule. This helps to gain a lot of useful information to successfully schedule next meeting.

- Posture and approach, not leaning, being in front of girls , stopping confidently being close , those are all important points I have learnt. Also I realized I hate talking in a club as its very tiring and I can not hear well. Being close in this situation and keeping conversation simple and fun helps a lot.

- As soon as I learnt strawberry game I tried it in a club and worked quite well.

- Also I think whole idea of not drinking during bootcamp and approaches I think is controversial but has good merits. For me its much easier to build great raport when I had few drinks and can lead to some very interesting and successful situations, but I think that also makes me less aware of the factors that I am doing well and got me there. Plus of course if you can do the same thing without drinking that is a huge economical benefit!

- Comfort and telling Hero story - actually during bootcamp I have realized that I might have naturally done this on the proper dates (meaning there is wine and some comfortable quiet environment to talk). Thinking about this could really explain why I was usually very good on first dates, and could build connection quickly.However before I have never thought about this in structured way or using those stories on purpose for building comfort.

 

I have learnt much more, but it already took me ages to write this, so I stop here.

 

 

Next actions:

 

 

- I need to practise approaching, try to keep conversation longer, remember to qualify, seed and kino.

- I dont like wasting time on texting, which I think might be a cause of not being able to pull some of those girls I have contact of for dates. I should improve here and be better and tactical with texting.

I would like to increase perception of my value, so those top girls might be much more compelled to go out with me and have stronger reason to do so.

- I would like to improve my social game, I enjoy cold approach but I realized the results can be so much easier if I am in the right social group and setting. I have a challenge with that though, each time I tried to attend some meetups in Hong Kong, the actual probability of meeting super hot girl on those is very low. This is a bit puzzling, because I can see many beautiful girls on the streets, but when I go to those meetups its basically a lot of guys and older girls. There are few potential hypothesis (like for example young girls will attend activities from university, and most beautiful popular girls will hangout in circle of their friends more than the external meetups). Nevertheless, I would like to invest more time in building better social connections so I can also leverage that and come to the same playing field with local guys.

- Finally I had chances to meet some incredible girls that I cared about, I would like to learn how to make them fall in love with me. Potentially I need to be more patient, show strong character and confidence in getting them.

 

I appreciate any advice and help on how to improve and have better chance to realize mentioned goals.

[RedpoleQ]

NICE! Glad to have you on board and welcome to the party!