Seoul Bootcamp 4/26-4/28

[anasian]

I lived in Korea for five years and Korean girls are my type so that was why I specifically chose this pickup training. At first, I found RedpoleQ's blog back in 2014. I had a scarcity mindset back then so I didn't sign up for the bootcamp due to the fear of spending money, but I did take bits of information from his blog when I dated a couple of times in 2014 and 2015.

Then in December 2016, I expressed interest in doing the bootcamp but the bootcamps aren't held during the winter months. By this time, I decided to stop teaching and become an engineer so I left Korea in March 2017 and moved to Silicon Valley, California. Anyway, I signed up for this bootcamp in April 2019 when I got enough vacation days for a trip.

Before I arrived in Korea for the bootcamp, I grew out a beard. I knew beards were not ideal in attracting East Asian girls but at that time, I wanted to look "more American" and not get identified as Chinese since Chinese don't have a good image in Korea or Japan. Note: There is part two in Japan.

Let's get to the actual bootcamp. There was another guy who was doing the bootcamp a second time.

4/26-4/27: First Night Game

We met up at a Mexican restaurant in Itaewon and went over the questions that we answered before the bootcamp. Then we went over the game plan at a coffee shop. After that, we did cold approaches on the streets and at a convenient store. My first set was just to ask where a party venue was located. It was the first approach in this bootcamp and my face turned red. After that, we went to a club and I found a lot of problems I have in communication skills. It was hard for me to move a conversation forward. Also, the club was loud and I wasn't used to talking loudly. Thus, I just worked on the opener. Raising my voice was a challenge because my throat wasn't used to it so I got dry quickly.

At first, I tried doing the opener with guys. Then I went back to girls. During the night, we went to two clubs. The first one had more approachable girls while the second one had more elitist girls. We were told about the difference in quality of girls at the two locations.

We debriefed at a nearby Turkish restaurant.

4/27: First Day Game

I shaved my beard off immediately.

We met up at a Paris Baguette in Gangnam. RedpoleQ went over more theory. I remember we talked about compliance. Since I was an amateur at communication skills, I would focus more on the approaching and the opener.

The day game was done on a street in Gangnam. I just worked on the opener and trying to push the conversation forward more. During this game, I still had a lot of fear of running out of things to say so there were moments where I ejected even though the girl was interested in talking to me.

We debriefed at a coffee shop.

By this point, I realized that Korean girls in Gangnam spoke English very well. Also I realized all I have to do is speak English loudly and clearly in order for the people to not assume I was Chinese. I didn't need a beard at all.

4/27-4/28: Second Night Game

We met at the same coffee shop in Itaewon and went over more theory and the game plan. Before we left, I approached a girl sitting at a table next to us. She was friendly and interested in talking to me. Unfortunately, that fear of awkward silence and running out of things to say caused me to eject. RedpoleQ told me about "The Five Ws" in extending a conversation. I went back and tried talking to her more. Then we left the coffee shop.

The clubs that night had long lines so we did approaches on the streets. I mainly worked on extending the conversation at this point. By the end, I had more success in prolonging conversations. Also, my throat didn't have the dry problems that I had yesterday.

One thing I learned was to not be worried about what the girl thinks about my background or interests. Thus, I had a more successful set towards the end with the two girls from Gwangju which was where I lived when I was teaching in Korea.

During this night game, we ran into someone named Marcus. He had an interesting insight into why jocks have more success in gaming girls. He said the difference between me and a jock was that I am thinking.

We debriefed at the same Turkish restaurant as yesterday. Some random Korean guy asked for water. I ended up buying a bottle of water for him. Originally I thought it would be free self-service water rather than a bottle but I subconsciously decided that 1500 won isn't much money and just bought the bottle of water. After that, we had another conversation about compliance.

4/28: Second Day Game

We met at an American breakfast restaurant and went over hero stories.

For the second day game, I was less worried about running out of things to talk about. I was still nervous but it wasn't as bad as the previous days. Today, I did more approaching of girls walking around. Yesterday, it was mainly girls sitting or standing. Thus, I had to work a lot on walking up to a girl from the right angle and distance. Being too close will surprise the girl but it's okay to walk closer once you open up the girl and she is responding in a positive way.

Towards the end, I realized the best way to not have awkward approaches is to just walk assertively to the girl. If you hesitate, the approach will become awkward.

I did do some kino but my hand gestures were awkward at times.

My final set ended in a weird way. We walked by a girl with a birthday cake and her friends. Telling her "Happy Birthday!" was the opener but I walked away as soon as I said it. Thus, the girls and even a nearby ajumma were confused about what just happened. Being nervous was why I ejected too quickly.

The good news, however, was that I did have a couple of good conversations.

We debriefed at that same coffee shop.

Part Two in Japan

In the following week, I was in Japan. I attended the texting seminar and did more game practice. Japan was more difficult because English levels were lower and my Japanese was worse than my Korean. On the plus side, I did manage to get some contact information during the Japan training. Eventually my Japan trip was over and so I didn't have the time to schedule any meets with the girls whose Line accounts I got.

During the Japan trip, I got a new haircut and learned some basics of Japanese hairstyles.

The difference between "direct approach" and "indirect approach" was covered too.

The street game I did in Japan was worse than the street game I did in Korea. I think the reason was the language issue. Regardless, I did get some contact information in the bars.

Here was the contact information I got:

May 3: a fancy restaurant at the top of a building

1. Korean girl visiting her friend

May 4: Starbucks in Shibuya

2. Japanese girl sitting next to me - She was still texting with me when I was back in America. 

May 4: British themed pub

3. Japanese girl that had Korean language abilities

4. Japanese girl that was short and petite - She didn't look at my texts at all. I think it's because I was too hasty and didn't connect with her.

5. Japanese girl - Texting with her did happen for a time.

On the last day of the Japan training, I stumbled onto another communication problem I had, which was a nervous laugh I did right after I say something. The nervous laugh prevents the girl from reacting or saying something.

Follow-Up in Korea

In the following week, I was back in Korea. There was a Korean girl whose Kakao I got during the Japan game. She was the first person to give me her contact information. Anyway, she went back to Korea too but I wasn't able to schedule a meet with her. Time ran out.

A large chunk of the second Korea trip was me going to Gwangju to hang out with the friends I made when I lived there. Regardless, I did do some game for a night in Hongdae. I got another Kakao account but there was literally no time for a meetup.

Follow-Up in America

Returning to America felt painful to me because I really wanted to just stay in Korea and Japan. The vacation was too short and so there wasn't enough time to set a meetup with the girls. On the bright side, this pain motivated me to become a freelance software engineer. Interestingly, I got laid off from my job in June. My co-workers were surprised I took the news well.

One of the Japanese girls was still talking to me when I was back in America. She was the one sitting next to me at a Starbucks in Shibuya.

A thing that I have been doing is to just ask strangers for directions. I decided to not bother using Google. Overcoming social anxiety is important and I am starting to think this anxiety was why I blanked out when talking to girls. Feeling nervous prevents a person from thinking clearly and making decisions. I think it's called "cognitive tunneling." On top of that, I decided to do sales training where I have to role play with other students. It's good for conversation practice.

In the near future, I will be in Korea again. I am close in making the freelance software engineer thing work.

As a final note, my recommendation for anti-social people is to do some approaching strangers practice before doing a bootcamp.

[RedpoleQ]

Great write up! You made massive progress over the training from barely being able to talk to anyone to looking like a very social guy by the end and being able to approach girls comfortably anywhere.

Well done, my man! And looking forward to seeing you when you get back to Asia!