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mini fr: tuesday night out with danny we went out to lan kwai fong. goal was 3 approaches , at least one on the dancefloor. not a lot to approach in revolution, too many mixed sets. we went to jellyfish. danny told me i should be more concrete with my routine, bc i often dont know what to do or say. on the way to jellyfish i approached a group of mediocre xinjiang girls. asked which club the best is. in jellyfish i approached some girls danny choose me to approach. then he wanted me to dancefloor aproach via some hip movement which really is not my kind of style i noticed quickly. so,.i approached a lot if random sets on the dancefloor just asking if they speak chinese. got some laughs but didnt pursue anything further. outside i approached a girl that was interested in mine and dannys conversation. reapproached her later also and got the wechat. HB7 from harbin. we left soon after that. i approached 10-12 sets that night. so a lot more then i expected. main reason was danny constantly pushing to do stuff. thx for that.

I like Asian girls a lot. In my relationships with them was very little drama compared to relationships with western girls. Asian girls usually don’t give me a reason to leave them because they didn’t do anything wrong. But there comes a point where you have to since I don’t plan to marry them and circumstances change. Then you dump then or leave them. It’s sad. My ex(Indonesian) is the best example. I probably would have ended up marrying her, if I would gotten a normal job back in Germany. I left her because I wanted to stay in China. Was difficult for both of us, but probably more for her than for me. She told me that her life felt empty without me. I actually think I would have made her happy, provided her with some kind of family since my family loved her and she had issues with hers and that she would have been a great mother. But I wasn’t ready for that. My suga mama did a lot for me. Took care of me when I was at the hospital, helped me with organizing and managing my life since I can read Chinese and provided an overall higher quality of life for me back in Jinan. If I would have stayed with her, her life would have been pretty much complete since she already got everything else a Chinese women wants(Gucci handbags, houses, cars). Me ocasinally whoring around probably wouldn’t have bothered her. If I would have fake-married her, I could have gotten her to Canada somehow where she wants to live with the rest of her family(she somehow cant get there, since they are afraid she wont leave, which is a valid concern). I left to Chengdu. I never loved here but still feel a little guilty for leaving. Daniela(Funnycatgirl) was great. I meet her after I already decided to move to Chengdu. She had a lot of what I like in a girl. She probably would have become my girlfriend. I was sad when I left her and Jinan. I am afraid of longterm relationships now. If you wont marry her there will be disappointment and the feeling that you couldn’t ultimatively give her what she wanted. Have you guys also the feeling that our abundance with women can be negative to one individual that we like? I am not here to make the life of women worse and I usually don’t, but I feel guilty. Especially for my ex. Don’t know if anybody has similar thoughts.

Got in touch with Danny instantly when I arrived here in mid September. He helped finding an apartment within a few days. I was really desperate to get one since I live 1,5h outside of the inner city right now. Going out was kinda frustrating but also somehow what I expected. Even though I am in a new environment I still have massive AA. There is a huge amount of work that I have to do. We already did a lot game. I was out here nearly everyday since I arrived for either day- or nightgame. What I think what my problem is: I am not willing to take the pain that is associated with a possible rejection. Next problem: Rejections are much more likely with hotter girls, so if I approach it is often not the girls that I actually want. Working on it, even though there is no real progressive line since my bootcamp which was nearly one year ago. Might be because Jinan didn’t give me the right tools for that. But it gave me a lot other good things which I had to give up or have to rebuild now: a job that I liked, good money and some savings, a hand full of available regs and girls in the pipeline, a suga mama, a girl that I really liked (funnycatgirl). I am basicially starting over again and I am totally broke. I had to wait in Germany for my Visa, had to rebook my flight and paid of a little bit of debt back home. So, I went from owning more money that I ever had to barely being able to rent an apartment. I don’t know, but life was good back then. Hope everything was worth it and it is going to be more awesome in the near future. Also living in Chengdu seems super inconvenient to me. Difficult to find a didi nearby, not a lot of available taxis, has a metro but its stacked with people, my school doesn’t set up things for me, have to do everything by myself, you get no special treatment because nobody cares that you are a foreigner… I disagree with first tier cities being more convenient. If you speak basic Chinese that’s just not the case, only if convenience means eating pizza and hamburger every other day for you, then yeah…you might have a point. Overall, I am not very happy with my situation that’s why I need CHANGE. Next step is to search for a new apartment since the area Danny and me lived in is too loud for me due to 24h a day construction working. I am searching for something as central as possible so there is as little resistance as possible for going out. That’s the next step. And going out daily but that’s what I am already doing.

Change is tough, but it's also exciting because you can set everything up the way you want without having to think about what you've already done in your past. With approaching and dealing with AA, there are a lot of frames you could use to get over it, but the real problem is that you don't choose helpful thought patterns. You let your mind keep you in negative mind states that keep you from taking right action. So you need to find some mindsets that work and train your brain to focus on them. I'd recommend reading "Unlimited Power" by Tony Robbins if you already read "The War of Art" and "Flinch" and neither of those worked for you.

Great post and I'm glad you're thinking about this. I hope that some of the guys post their thoughts and experiences about this, because I think it's important to think about this stuff.

Idea for a date plan with Americanish Chinese girl Quick list 1. Pick her up from close by station and walk to the venue *seed 2. A beer or two at artsy venue *Seed* a. Demonstrate attraction, kino and qualify 3. Bounce to a music venue, (maybe close dance or silly dance with her) *seed a. Demonstrate attraction, kino and qualify 4. Bounce to a rooftop for a cool view of the city *seed* a. Comfort 5. Bounce to mine seeding ________________ 6. Bang Alright, because I’m quite out of practice I’m gonna go through each part step by step for myself and for you guys to offer tips and tricks. - I’ve decided to listen to her answers a little more because this will give me a better idea of how to pull her instead of just spewing verbal game bullshit. 1. Pick her up from close by station and walk to the venue *seed - I pick her up from the venue and compliment her on a specific bit about her outfit (something along the lines oh “Damn, I knew your outfit was gonna be cool but not this cool”) the inflection of my voice will by downward. I’ll ask her if she knows about the place and ask her not to be weirded out and embarrass me. At these points, when I BT spike her, I’m gonna do little kino to start with probably on her forearm and “forearm flexer”. The venue is about 5 minutes walk so I can ask some qualifying questions on the way plus it’s secluded, hip and plays good music. I can qualify on all of those things. 2. A beer or two at artsy venue *Seed* - I like toffee apple beer, so I’ll get that. I can also qualify her on her tastes and to see if she is passionate about anything. The venue is quite sensual/hip/cool/sexy so we can talk about some stuff they have around her. There is a cool vinyl selection at the back that I’ll look through with her if she likes music. - I’ll have to quite a bit of qualifying with this girl because she is hot and bored. I’m gonna qualify her on if she likes to read, does she play videogames, does she workout, does like music, does she cook (I’m gonna learn), where has she travelled, does she meditate (I have a cool rooftop I’m gonna visit and relax) o Demonstrate attraction, kino and qualify 3. Bounce to a music venue, (maybe close dance or silly dance with her) *seed - More cool points for me haha, kind of kidding but I used to play at this next venue so I should get service right away. Plus the place I like to sit is secluded and off to the side for even more kino o Demonstrate attraction, kino and qualify 4. Bounce to a rooftop for a cool view of the city *seed* - I like to do this place because I have acess to it and it’s like a pre-pull thing. I like to make-out on the roof to confirm if it’s going down or not. If I nail it, great, if not then I just remain non-reactive and brush it off. All good, I’m still having fun and we can try this later. Comfort 5. Bounce to mine seeding ________________ - Here’s the bit I’m having trouble with what do I bounce home with (guitar? Cool paintings? More alcohol? (probably not) my psp (nah)? 6. Bang Please help, tell me the good, the bad and the ugly.