Height and Size in Asia

[ShinChoc]

Ya know, I've become increasingly size-conscious ever since I left America and moved to Asia. By that I mean that ever since I have moved over here, I have started to pay more attention to my physical characteristics, as well as the physical characteristics (mainly height) of other men. Let me give you some background on myself so that you can understand my situation.

 

I am a black male. My mother was a retired military sergeant. When I was younger, my mother would often take me to the gym with her, and after watching her workout enough times, I began to start working out. I am pretty sure that I started lifting weights around my 5th grade year- basically I have been lifting weights since a very young age. Despite my weight lifting I was a chubby kid in middle school, and it wasn’t until high school that I really kicked my working out into high gear- reading health books, taking supplements like protein and vitamins, etc.

 

At the height of my narcissism in high school, I would go around the city wearing a tank-top/wife-beater to show off my muscles. Because I was rather large, other people would always comment on my size. Men who were jealous of me would accuse me of using steroids, and more aggressive men would try to bring me down (I am/was a rather mild-manner, shy soul, and this demeanor was often taken as a sign of weakness by certain members of the black community). During this time I had run across The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, and I was becoming increasingly conscious of my abilities to attract women. The first time I had sex was during my 11th grade year of high school, and it was mainly because I had read the “Enter Action with Boldness” chapter in The 48 Laws of Power, which gave me the confidence to approach this girl who rode the bus to school with me haha.

 

In college I studied engineering. Because of my hectic class schedule I wasn’t able to exercise as often as I wanted, but I still made time to practice my seduction tactics on women. And then I started to notice something- even though my physical appearance was going down (I didn’t have the six-pack that I have managed to get during my senior year in high school), my skills with attracting women were going up. At the time, It seemed like my physical appearance didn’t really matter that much when it came to interacting with women. It got to the point to where I felt comfortable allowing myself to be lazy and skip the gym because I knew that my looks didn’t matter that much.

 

And then I moved to Korea.

 

In Korea I worked as a hagwon teacher for elementary and middle school students. One thing that commonly happened while I was in the classroom with my students was that they would ask me how tall I am. I suddenly started to become conscious of my size relative to others (before I was just conscious of my own body relative to myself). Anyone who has been to Korea knows how tall the people there are. I had a couple of middle school students who were within an inch of being taller than me. Some of the Korean women that my friends and I hung out with said that they liked being with foreigners because we are taller than Korean men. I disagreed with one of them saying that Korean men are pretty tall, but she said that we, as foreigners, are taller. Okay, if you say so.

 

Because I’m black, I also became aware of the obstacles that come with not having the “ideal” skin-tone in Asia, when it came to getting jobs and online dating (specifically Tinder) in Asia. The interesting thing is that I had tall, white friends in Korea, and I generally did a lot better in talking to women than they did, but they got laid more than I did (I didn’t get laid at all!) because they went to the bars and stayed out late drinking much more often than I did (that’s the main reason that I came up with- they put themselves in a position to get sex, specifically bar/one-night stand sex, more than I did).

 

And then I moved to China.

Anybody who has been to China knows that white-skin is considered the ideal over here. I mean, other countries in Asia might be subtle about it, but in China they will blatantly tell you- white is beautiful. Even if a person’s face isn’t that attractive, the fact that they have white skin can make them be “beautiful” over here. Since I don’t necessarily fit the ideal (although I don’t really think that has hindered my love life), I have become even more conscious of my appearance over here.

 

The last time I went to the doctor and got measured a few years ago, they told me that I was 5 foot 10 inches- I will assume that I haven’t gotten any taller since then. In contrast to America and Korea, where I felt my height was more-or-less average compared to everyone else, in China, with my size and height, I tower over most people and take up more space/room than most people. One thing that I have found myself doing is that I have started to pay ample attention to my height compared to other men. For example, when I am walking around the college I work at, I might see a male student walking in the distance who seems rather tall compared to the women he is walking next to. To my delight, when the man comes closer to me, I find that I am taller than him! This has been a thing that I have found myself doing pretty much whenever I go outside of my apartment these days. I’m actually starting to get annoyed at myself for doing it so often.

 

So, I am around 5 foot 10 inches, and I have the somewhat muscular body of a person who could be an amateur football player. Most of the men that I have seen who are taller than me usually have that “long and skinny” look, and I don’t know if that look is considered more attractive than my look. I feel like a lot of these “long and skinny” guys could up their attractiveness if they put on some muscle, rather than being so scrawny. I feel like Michael Phelps is a good example of a guy who has that “long and ripped” swimmer’s body that I think a lot of women find attractive (Phelps is 6 foot 4, by the way).

 

Anyway, how does my size affect my dating life? Well, I tend to be most attracted to Asian women who I would describe as “small and cute.” (I suppose small is a relative term). As a matter of fact, I am dating an Asian women that I would describe as this type right now. As we were brushing our teeth together last week, I noticed how I towered over her small frame. In some ways, I feel like I have the ideal body type to get the types of women that I want. I am tall enough to be considered “tall” in Asia, but I am not so tall that I greatly inconvenience any of the small Asian women that I find myself so attracted to.

 

Back in America, I had seen SO MANY examples in my youth of men who were smaller and physically weaker than me being able to attract women based off of their charisma and social influence (I can think of a few rappers/musicians who are small in stature that are able to command crowds based off of their charisma). I’d seen it so often that I just completely discounted the “physical looks” category in its effect on attracting women, but now it seems that I have regressed. About a month ago I started a new workout program to get myself back in shape, and I have noticed that it has increased my physical confidence and my posture when I am walking around my college.

 

What do you guys think about your relative size/height/appearance compared to your male “competition” in Asia? Has your body helped or hindered your game? Are you content with your physique?

 

I'm looking forward to hearing your replies!

[RedpoleQ]

I think that in China and Japan, especially, girls prefer a slimmer body type. Apparently, in China, having muscles is a bad thing because it implies that you're a farmer or other laborer while being pale and skinny implies that you are inside studying and therefore more likely to be rich/upper class.

 

In Japan, it's more about the intimidation factor. Japanese are very easily "scared" and even wearing sunglasses, is considered scary to them.

 

As a black guy, you're especially scary, so it's likely that you need to come across as even milder. I'm quite short, clocking in at just under 5'4" not including my afro which gives me an extra inch or two, lols. But when I first started gaming, I didn't have an afro and I wore a variety of hats and that suited me just fine.

 

I've never really considered my height to be an issue at all, except that guys try to physically intimidate me in clubs more often than guys who are taller, but since they're not really trying to fight (most of the time), not backing down seems to work just fine.

 

In any case, I think that the ideal body type for Asian women is slightly taller than average (which is, as you point out taller in Korea than other parts of Asia) and lean. Muscles are fine, but you don't want to look bulked.

[ShinChoc]

I think that my new workout plan has been having a big effect on my body. My shoulders have become a lot more aligned/stout, and my chest and back have gotten bigger. Whenever I walk around the campus I get lots of looks from both women AND men. Women frequently look at me and smile, while I see the boys on the campus subtly nudging each other whenever I walk in the vicinity (I frequently feel them sizing me up and comparing their body to mine as I walk past them).

 

When I take my shirt off it is clear that I still have a good amount of body fat that I need/want to lose, but I cut a pretty good figure when I have my shirt on I have been taking RedpoleQ's advice and am trying to avoid the "bulky" look, but because I am already a big guy (who loves to eat meat and other high-protein food) I am pretty sure that my muscles have gotten bigger rather than smaller over the past 2 month's of fitness. I exercise almost every day (I try to do more cardio than anything else) so that I can cut down my weight, but my diet isn't as tight as it could be (lately I've been eating a lot of sushi and fried street food for lunch and dinner), and I'm currently trying to get that sorted out (how to eat healthy without spending lots of money? I suppose that I could cook more~).

 

I've still got 3 months left on my fitness program, so hopefully I will be able to keep my momentum going, drop some of this fat, and get more toned!

[RedpoleQ]

Nice!