Cooking with my Sexy Student FR

[ShinChoc]

Okay, so yesterday I tried to sleep with one of the female students from my English class. Here is the story:

 

I met this girl in one of the English classes that I teach. During the first class of the semester, I like to do an "introduction" about myself. In the PowerPoint that I present to the students, I have lots of pictures of me doing cool things and being surrounded by beautiful women. I basically want to cement in the student's minds that I am a cool guy, and not a loser like most of their Chinese teachers. In the PowerPoint I talked about how one of my favorite hobbies is cooking, and as I went around the classroom getting everyone to talk about their hobbies, she said that she also enjoyed cooking. Anyway, she approached me after the class to ask for my WeChat information. I took this as a good sign, as she is very attractive, and it's always good when the girl is the first one to initiate things, right?

 

She messaged me a little later saying that "cooking is great!" and I sent her a "thumbs up" sticker. The next day she messaged me again with a "Hi teacher" and we had a short convo. I sent her a picture of some spaghetti that I was eating, and she messaged me back saying "I want to eat some delicious food that you made". I messaged her back with a sticker and asked her "what does your schedule look like for the week?" She didn't respond, but the next day when I posted a picture on WeChat of the food I was eating for breakfast she messaged me saying "a substantial breakfast". Anyway, that was a couple weeks ago when we first started messaging. We haven't really messaged much, except when I sent her a picture of me in a field of sunflowers, and a couple days later she messaged me asking about something class related.

 

After class this past week I sent her a picture of my dinner and asked her if she could cook it. She messaged me back the next day saying "easy". I responded saying that she can cook it with me. She messaged me back asking if she could call me chocolate (which is the name that I tell students they can call me ), we had a short convo, and I sent her a picture of me eating with my male friend who had taken me to a new restaurant. Anyway, I asked for her phone number, and I then called her, but she was in the library, so she couldn't talk to me.

 

Anyway, long story short, I managed to get her to come over to my apartment on campus for breakfast this past Sunday. When I met her she was dressed very sexy. We walked up to my apartment. When she got into my apartment, she started cleaning and organizing my living room. I cooked some scrambled eggs for her, and I playfully massaged her shoulders as she washed the dishes. After I finished the cooking, I suggested that we go into my room. She sat on the bed eating as I sat at my computer. And then something interesting happened. As I was talking to her and showing her stuff on my computer, she got up and started pressing her leg against mine. I mean it was obvious pressing, as if she wanted physical contact with me. She then told me that she wanted me to eat the scrambled eggs with her, and she began spoon feeding me . Sensing that things were going in a good direction, I upped my kino and grabbed her legs and put them on top of me (she was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I was sitting in a chair, so it was easy for me to put her legs on top of my legs).

 

I then lifted her up and put her on my lap. I pretended that I was going to drop her, and she wrapped her arm around my neck for a brief second before removing it. She then started cleaning my desk. As she stood with her back to me cleaning my desk I would occasionally kino her. I had her remove her coat because "it might be dirty", Anyway, she then began folding the big pile of clothes that I had lying on the floor. I would occassionally kino her by grabbing her and lifting her up, and she returned my kino on a couple of occassions. I picked her up and layed her on my bed and kissed her neck, but she told me no (in Chinese). After she folded my clothes she went over to my closet and grabbed my watches and lied on the middle of my bed. Sensing that something good might happen I lied on the bed with her and pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her. I gave her a few kisses on the neck, and I starting rubbing my hand under her skirt, but she then told me to stop. (She also commented that she didn't like feeling of my beard stubble on her skin, which I thought wouldn't be such a big deal since I had just shaved the previous day, and my facial hair was still very short). I didn't want to make the mistake of letting her think that she was only useful to me for sex, so I grabbed my Chinese book and we went through some of my notes (we were still lying on my bed with her on top of me).

 

Since it seemed like I wasn't going to get laid, I decided to ease up off of the touching and kissing her, and I suggested that we paint together (I am an artist, and I have many art supplies around my room). We sat on the floor and painted a picture together. Afterwards I asked her to pick the outfit that I would wear for the next day, and she did. I also had her iron my clothes. After she finished ironing, she told me that she had to go study in the library. I walked her to the front stairs of my building before saying goodbye to her. One mistake that I realized I made was that I let her leave without setting up the Day2. About an hour or so later I WeChat messaged her saying "My home is very clean now. Thank you ". She didn't respond.

 

I saw her a couple hours later walking with another Chinese guy and kino-ing him (she briefly touched him on the shoulder). I waved "hi" to her as we walked past each other, but I could tell that something was going on between her and the other guy that made her seem a little reserved in that instant. I watched them as they walked into a building near the library. I figure that maybe the guy she was walking with is some potential beau that might be possible boyfriend/husband material, and maybe she is just interested in having me on the side, which is fine by me. I text messaged (not Wechat messaged) her later that night saying "Hey smart girl, the painting is now dry :)" with an attached picture of the painting we did together. I then followed up with "Can you come by tomorrow to get it?" She didn't respond.

 

And that is the situation that we are in now.

 

This girl doesn't seem to check her WeChat very often (or maybe she has a lot of people messaging her), as she often takes a long time to respond to my messages, or, in the case of the last messages I sent her, doesn't respond at all. Also, she speaks English decently, but she spoke to me a lot in Chinese, which tells me that she is still much of a novice in English. I feel like she definitely has to have some sexual interest in me, as she initiated physical touch on me multiple times during our time together.

 

I have class with her again on Thursday. My plan right now is to play it cool and give her a chance to reapproach me (if she is still interested), but maybe you guys can suggest an alternative strategy?

[ShinChoc]

Quick note before I head off to work:

 

From 12p.m.-2:30p.m. is the designated lunch time/nap time of my college, which means that no classes happen during this time, and students are usually eating and then sleeping during this time.

 

She just text messaged around 1 o' clock (phone text messaged, not WeChat messaged) me "what are youdoing now?"

 

I was sleeping, so I responded to her 40 minutes later "I just woke up haha" and then I attached a picture of myself in my red sleeping robe to the next message. I then messaged her "what are you doing?"

 

I wonder what she wants?

 

::UPDATE::

 

Our text conversation didn't really go anywhere. She responded to my question with "sleeping"

 

Me: You copy me haha

Me: Come paint with me tonight

Me: Can you meet at 8?

Her: ? ?

Her: NO time

Me: "copy me" means that you do the same thing as me

Me: When will you have time- maybe tomorrow?

 

She hasn't responded. Something is going on with this girl. She clearly is interested in me, but I think that her busy school schedule is what is slowing down my progressing our relationship.

[RedpoleQ]

This is a very difficult situation because she's one of your students so she could have all sorts of hidden motives for her behavior.

 

If this were a girl from cold approach or an introduction, I would say that you definitely could have closed her. She gave what seems like VERY token resistance that you could have easily gotten past by turning her on more and being more persistent.

 

Since she's your student though, I wouldn't advise the same kind of tactics and I think you need much clearer signals. First off though, it sounds like you really should have been working her neck and ears a lot more, because it sounds like you went straight for her legs.

 

Also, future projection is woefully missing. Also, not a lot of qualification. Sure you let her know you appreciate her for the things you did, but you didn't let her know that you appreciate any unique qualities about who she is as a person--at least from what you wrote here.

 

Not setting the next meet was a major mistake, but really, with no future projection, it's hard to imagine how you would have set it up. I think that your intentions for this girl need to be a lot more clear. Like are you trying to date her, or you just want her to come over and have sex with you occasionally or you just want to close her once or..?

 

Because maybe being more overt about everything with her, verbally would have been the way to go. Really hard to say though, because for all I know, she's just trying to get good English class grades and thinks that if the teacher thinks he'll get some, she will.

 

I was also wondering why so many weeks passed before you set up the meet since she seems to have come on pretty strong in the beginning...

[ShinChoc]

"First off though, it sounds like you really should have been working her neck and ears a lot more, because it sounds like you went straight for her legs. "

 

^^Yea, I probably could have been more aggressive, but I figured that the ball was in my court (with her being interested enough to get my contact info, come over to my home, and lie in my bed), so I didn't need to try to force the sexual interaction if she was being resistant. Since she seems to like me, and I will likely see her at least once a week in my class, I thought that it would be better to not act too thirsty for sex. Also, she told me that she didn't like my facial hair rubbing against her face, which slowed me down as well

 

"Also, future projection is woefully missing. Also, not a lot of qualification. Sure you let her know you appreciate her for the things you did, but you didn't let her know that you appreciate any unique qualities about who she is as a person"

 

^^I tried to qualify her a little bit on how well she dressed (as she was dressed very sexily), but I couldn't really come up with much in the moment to say about her personality, because that was the first time we had met outside of the classroom. I did do some future projection by saying that she could help me with Chinese, and that I would give her some extra help with English, and also teach her how to paint (these were the main reasons that I pulled out my Chinese book and then my art supplies- because I wanted to get her introduced to studying Chinese and painting with me)

 

"Not setting the next meet was a major mistake, but really, with no future projection, it's hard to imagine how you would have set it up. I think that your intentions for this girl need to be a lot more clear. Like are you trying to date her, or you just want her to come over and have sex with you occasionally or you just want to close her once or..?"

 

^^Yea, setting up the next meet totally slipped my mind until about 20 minutes after she had already left haha. Qualification and setting up the next date on the current date are the two areas that I am working to improve at now. In terms of my intentions for this girl, I just want her to come over and have sex with me occasionally.

 

"Because maybe being more overt about everything with her, verbally would have been the way to go. Really hard to say though, because for all I know, she's just trying to get good English class grades and thinks that if the teacher thinks he'll get some, she will."

 

^^This completely possible, but I don't think so. I feel like there is a lot of physical attraction between us, she just had some kind of resistance to sleeping with me.

 

"I was also wondering why so many weeks passed before you set up the meet since she seems to have come on pretty strong in the beginning..."

 

^^In the second paragraph of my first post I wrote about that. The day after we swapped contact information she messaged me, I sent her a picture of some spaghetti I was eating, she said that she wanted to eat some food that I made, and when I asked her what her schedule is, she didn't respond. She has developed the habit of starting off a text conversation with me, and then not responding when I message her back. Heck, the first time we hung out this past week, she tried to cancel on me the night before, but then I called her on the phone the next morning and got her to come over to my place.

 

Anyway, she's a beautiful girl, and I'm sure she would be a fun sex-partner, but I'm not in dire need of her body at the moment. There are still about 11 or 12 more weeks of school left, and if I had to guess, she will likely come over to my at least a couple more times before the school term ends

[RedpoleQ]

I didn't need to try to force the sexual interaction if she was being resistant

I wouldn't consider this to be forceful. It's really the best way to start because it's easy to access and it high a high chance of turning her on quickly.

 

I couldn't really come up with much in the moment to say about her personality, because that was the first time we had met outside of the classroom

This means that your qualification is weak. It is the most difficult phase in pickup to get good at (in my opinion) so it's understandable, but it's something ot focus on more.

 

I did do some future projection by saying that she could help me with Chinese, and that I would give her some extra help with English, and also teach her how to paint

Yeah, I missed these in my read over. How did she respond to these?

 

I feel like there is a lot of physical attraction between us, she just had some kind of resistance to sleeping with me.

It's VERY, VERY rare for girls not to put up some kind of resistance. It's not the west and there has been on sexual revolution so even if they're totally down, they usually put up some level of resistance just to not appear slutty. Asian guys don't respect girls who like sex (except in Japan).

 

I was also wondering why so many weeks passed before you set up the meet since she seems to have come on pretty strong in the beginning...

The day after we swapped contact information she messaged me, I sent her a picture of some spaghetti I was eating, she said that she wanted to eat some food that I made, and when I asked her what her schedule is, she didn't respond.

This is normal behavior. How long before you followed up again with her?

 

Anyway, she's a beautiful girl, and I'm sure she would be a fun sex-partner, but I'm not in dire need of her body at the moment

I think that this attitude might be holding you back from being more successful because instead of working hard at figuring out how and what you could do better you're letting yourself off the hook by saying that it's good to play it cool and not be interested.

 

It is good not to care too much, but to improve you have to really want to get better and focus on it and think about it a lot. The fact is that each particular girl is a great lesson for us to learn and improve from, but if we're not pushing ourselves then we won't get the lesson.

 

This may not be the case with you, but I'm pointing it out just in case.

[ShinChoc]

"Yeah, I missed these in my read over. How did she respond to these?"

 

^^She responded really well to the studying Chinese, as we were lying in bed together going through my notes. Since it seemed like she was giving me a lot of resistance, and because I didn't want our time together to turn into me just trying to get sex out of her and her resisting, I backed off and had on do some painting instead on the floor beside my bed.

 

 

"It's VERY, VERY rare for girls not to put up some kind of resistance. It's not the west and there has been on sexual revolution so even if they're totally down, they usually put up some level of resistance just to not appear slutty. Asian guys don't respect girls who like sex (except in Japan)."

 

^^Yea, I actually feel rather foolish now, because I realize that I likely could have had sex with her if I had pushed a little harder. I mean she was giving me almost ALL of the signals that I could look for- she pressed her body against me, she kino-ed on me a couple of times, she actually lied down on the middle of my bed without me having to tell her to, and she didn't resist much when I wrapped my arms around her chest and put pressure on her breasts. I should have pushed harder, but I wanted to show her that I valued her for more than sex (which, honestly, is probably false. Her main value offering to me is sex, so I guess I was being disingenuous by trying to make her think differently).

 

"I think that this attitude might be holding you back from being more successful because instead of working hard at figuring out how and what you could do better you're letting yourself off the hook by saying that it's good to play it cool and not be interested."

 

^^I think that you may be right. I used to put lots of time and mental effort into figuring out how to improve with women, but ever since my relationship goals became having casual sexual relationships with attractive women, I haven't really been working as hard to improve as I used to. A part of me feels like it is easier to just start with new women, rather than try to figure out what is going wrong with my current women haha

 

Here is what has transpired in the past few days:

 

Yesterday at 12:21 a.m. she responded to my WeChat message that I sent Sunday about my room being very clean with a "!", which I take it means that she didn't see my message until just then (3 days later at midnight). I responded that morning with "delicious woman, I will have to eat you" with an attached picture of a painting of a wolf that I did. Later that day I sent her a picture of a delicious meal that I was eating with the caption "Happy lunch time, (her name) ". She didn't respond. I saw her later that day in class. I made sure to call on her in class and ask her what she planned on doing for this 3-day weekend we have coming up. I allow a 5-minute break during my class, and during the break I saw her taking selfies using a phone app that distorts you picture. In my class I frequently see her rest her head on her female friend's shoulder that sits next to her, as if she is having a hard time absorbing/staying focused on all of the information that is coming at her (she did this when we were watching a rap music video in class, which kind of disappointed me as I chose the video- LSD by Asap Rocky- because I thought it was very cool), but she usually pays attention to me when I am speaking in front of the class. Based off of her general demeanor, I am starting to think that this girl is an airhead. Anyway, she left class without saying anything to me.

 

I called her later that night because I wanted to make a last-ditch effort to get her over to my home before she goes home for the weekend, but she didn't answer. I messaged her "I called your phone to make sure you are studying your English ;)". She didn't respond. Today I messaged her to come over and help me with my Chinese before she leaves, and she responded that she was doing her homework. I offered to cook lunch for her, and I messaged her pictures of some spaghetti noodles and marinara sauce, and she responded "sorry. Next timeis good". I responded "Today AND next time ;b" (I learned that from Redpole Q's text seminar haha), and then messaged her "so that I know, send me your class schedule". She didn't respond. 40 minutes later I sent her a picture of a bowl of spaghetti with marinara and cheese. She didn't respond.

 

Today I happened to bump into her as she was going to get some medicine. I walked with her into the medicine shop. We walked to the school together and I tried to get her to come back to my home to get the painting that she did. She responded that she had to get on the bus and go to her hometown in 30 minutes, so she said "next time." During our conversation I managed to get her to show me her class schedule, and I took her phone and messaged her schedule to me so that I could have it. After resistance from her saying that she has "no time", I got her to reluctantly agree to meet me to cook lunch at my home on Tuesday. Today I also sent her some pictures of two girls that had come over to my home that I had cooked an omelet for

[RedpoleQ]

because I didn't want our time together to turn into me just trying to get sex out of her and her resisting, I backed off and had on do some painting instead on the floor beside my bed.

Might have been a better idea to bounce her out of your place and save the painting for the day 3 or 4 if you'd already decided that you weren't going to push for the close at that time.

 

I wanted to show her that I valued her for more than sex (which, honestly, is probably false. Her main value offering to me is sex, so I guess I was being disingenuous by trying to make her think differently).

This is what qualification is for!

 

A part of me feels like it is easier to just start with new women, rather than try to figure out what is going wrong with my current women

This approach is fine if you run a lot of volume. It's kind of like selling one-size-fits-all clothing. You can do it, but you'll sell more if you have small, medium, and large!

 

In my class I frequently see her rest her head on her female friend's shoulder that sits next to her, as if she is having a hard time absorbing/staying focused on all of the information that is coming at her (she did this when we were watching a rap music video in class, which kind of disappointed me as I chose the video- LSD by Asap Rocky- because I thought it was very cool)

This might be a big turnoff for Chinese since the video takes place in Japan...

 

"sorry. Next timeis good". I responded "Today AND next time ;b"

This is good, but you shouldn't have pushed for the meet more because there was no indication that she was on the fence about it, which is the time when you need to push the meet.

 

Today I also sent her some pictures of two girls that had come over to my home that I had cooked an omelet for

This is probably a really bad move. So, you're basically devaluing what you've done for her and that also implies that she's not valued or special and girls DEFINITELY shouldn't be having sex with guys that don't value them...in fact, they're really only supposed to have sex with guys that value them so much, they married them!

 

I think, however, that the overarching problem is that you're just trying to push for her to come to your place. In general if you have a girl in the sex location and fail to close, you'll trigger ASD so you need to set up a meet with no close logistics and/or with friends so she knows you're not only interested in sex. (I'm pretty sure that's in the text messaging webinar.)

 

By not only being interested in sex, it's more OK for her to have sex with you. Once again, this is where qualification comes into play. Also, whenever you're with a girl on a day 1, day 2, day 3, etc you should set up the next meet--at least tentatively. Always be timebridging. This serves multiple purposes.

 

1. it let's the girl know you want to keep seeing her

2. by already planning to see her again it makes it more ok to have sex with you because it's part of an ongoing "relationship"

 

Also, pressuring her a lot without keeping it fun and cute is a definite no-no. It's unclear if this is a problem or not but from what you've written it seems like you're really focused on what you want and not thinking at all about what she wants.

[ShinChoc]

Okay, so yesterday I somehow managed to get this girl naked in my bed, sucking on her breasts and fingering her before she stopped me.

 

Here is a brief overview of what has transpired since my last post:

 

She did a no-call no-show on that lunch date that I set up for last Tuesday- I called and and sent her messages reminding her of our date, but she ignored the calls and messages, and didn't show up for our lunch date. At that point I had given up on her, and on Thursday she sent me a text message telling me that she wouldn't be coming to my class because she had to go home. I figured that she was just trying to avoid the embarrassment of looking me in the face after she missed our lunch date. Because I was feeling in somewhat of a benevolent mood, I text messaged her:

 

Me: You have lost face (laughing emoji)

her: what

Her: What should I do

Me: You did not come to my lunch on Tuesday, and you did not come to my class today

Me: No face (tongue out emoji)(tongue out emoji)(tongue out emoji)

Her: (embarrassed emoji)(embarrassed emoji)(embarrassed emoji) really?

Me: Regain your face and cook for me

 

She then messaged me the next morning asking me "what will you do today". I was still a little hesitant to continue interacting with her since she had acted so disrespectfully (disrespectfully in my eyes, anyway), so I waited until 9:30p.m. at night to respond to her, and I sent her two pictures of me- one in the classroom with my students, and one of me at a meal. She messaged me asking what I will do tomorrow. I took RedpoleQ's advice and invited her to a group activity with me and my friends (going to the supermarket), but she responded "I do not like play with so many people".

 

Over the following few days we messaged back and forth. There was a holiday recently, and it's kind of annoying because us teachers have to make up the classes that were missed because of the holiday- meaning that we have to reschedule them for another day. She messaged me saying that she can't come to my class on the day I rescheduled it to:

 

Her: I am so sorry

Her: will you have time at tomorrow afternoon

Me: Time for what?

Her: Are you angry with me

Me: (Tries to call her, she doesn't answer)

Me: (Dog sticker with question mark)

Me: I tried to call you

Her: I don't have time at Wednesday

Me: You have missed too many of my classes

Her: just one

Her: tomorrow we can cook together

 

I took her offer, and we met up. She showed up wearing some sexy leather pants (I LOVE leather pants ). Over text she had messaged me asking if I had enough food material, and we were supposed to go get some food supplies, but when we met up, she told me that she wasn't hungry, so I took her straight to my apartment. While in my apartment she kept playfully hitting me and did some light kino. We lied down on my bed studying Chinese. Again, I took RedpoleQ's advice and worked her neck and ears while I was lying next to her, and it worked!

 

She started giving into my kisses, and then I started feeling on her delicious breasts (I think that she is a size C, which I think is big for an Asian woman). She unzipped the back of her blouse and assisted me in getting the top part of her clothing off. Etc, etc, I had her lying on my bed as I sucked her breasts. She gave me some LMR a few times, but gave into the pleasure as I rubbed on, kissed, sucked, and bit on her body, and eventually got my finger inside of her. I tried to put my cock in her mouth, but she resisted and just jerked on it instead. I didn't want her to come out of her sex trance, so I went back to working her breasts and fingering her. (Side Note: The underwear that she was wearing were very sexy, and I noticed that her pussy was neatly shaven into a triangle, which is VERY unlike most Chinese women I have met. Something tells me that she knew some kind of sex was going to happen with me, or possibly with another man...)

 

Her leather pants got bunched up around her ankles, and as I tried to get them off her LMR started increasing, to the point where she pushed me away and started getting dressed, saying that she had a meeting that she had to go to. As she got dressed I saw that she looked somewhat distraught, so I grabbed her hands, looked her in the eye and told her some things along the lines of "You are a very smart woman"..."There is nothing wrong with what we just did"..."Sex is good for the body"..."If you want to leave, that is fine, but I want you to be happy"... etc. That seemed to calm her down. I suggested that we go to the kitchen and I cook some food. As we washed dishes I messaged RedpoleQ about the situation, and he recommended that I take her out of my home and to a restaurant. I took her to a restaurant on the second floor of my building. While walking to the restaurant she asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I said no, and asked her if she was thinking about becoming my girlfriend. She said maybe.

 

While in the restaurant she kept messaging on her phone. I saw that she was in a group chat with some students. She said that she had to go, but I got her to stay with me until the spaghetti that I ordered came. While we waited on the spaghetti we both sketched a picture together in my notepad. She took a bite of the spaghetti, and then left, rushing out of the diner. Before she left we set up a cooking date for Saturday morning at 10a.m. (I learned my lesson and time-bridged! ) She also told me that she was performing this Thursday (tomorrow) in a school performance, and that she would call me when she knows the time of the performance.

 

I messaged her on three occasions later that night, but she didn't respond. I will message her again tonight to find out what time her performance is. Any thoughts and suggestions are welcome!

 

UPDATE:

 

She responded and told me that her performance is at 7:30a.m. in the morning. Guess I am going to have to re-arrange my morning workout schedule hahaha

[RedpoleQ]

At that point I had given up on her, and on Thursday she sent me a text message telling me that she wouldn't be coming to my class because she had to go home. I figured that she was just trying to avoid the embarrassment of looking me in the face after she missed our lunch date. Because I was feeling in somewhat of a benevolent mood, I text messaged her

This is not a particularly helpful attitude. What you're saying is that how you treat her is not a strategic decision but is based on your emotions at the time. If you run your seductions and relationships based off of emotion rather than on putting her into the position you want, you won't be as successful as you could be.

 

She then messaged me the next morning asking me "what will you do today". I was still a little hesitant to continue interacting with her since she had acted so disrespectfully (disrespectfully in my eyes, anyway)

Irrelevant to the art of seduction...unless your main goal is to get respect and not sex with girls you want.

 

I took RedpoleQ's advice and invited her to a group activity with me and my friends (going to the supermarket), but she responded "I do not like play with so many people"

This is a great reply from her. Because it implies that she wants to see you one-on-one. A great reply to this would have been, "Since you want me all to yourself, I'll be done with everyone at x time and we can meet up then."

 

Her leather pants got bunched up around her ankles, and as I tried to get them off her LMR started increasing, to the point where she pushed me away and started getting dressed, saying that she had a meeting that she had to go to.

Did you check her time constraints BEFORE bouncing her back to your place? If not, this is a major mistake, because you don't know if she's bullshitting you or not.

 

If the issue was with getting the pants all the way off, maybe you should have left them on and turned her on her stomach. You could have inserted in that position.

 

Did she give any verbal objections to your sexcalation? If so, what were they?

 

I suggested that we go to the kitchen and I cook some food. As we washed dishes I messaged RedpoleQ about the situation, and he recommended that I take her out of my home and to a restaurant.

If I had realized that you'd progressed things sexually so far, I would have given very different advice. Most likely the best move at this point after she put her clothes (assuming you still had an hour or two of more time) is to run some more comfort with her and then try again.

 

Typically, if a girl goes that far then she wants to have sex but has some reservations about it. One of those is usually that she feels pressured to do it, but when you remove the pressure by letting her know that you like her just fine and it's not all about the sex, then she feels it's ok to have sex with her.

 

Before she left we set up a cooking date for Saturday morning at 10a.m.

This is better done BEFORE the sexcalation as a general rule, so if she is thinking (or says) that you just want her for sex, the fact that you have the next meet scheduled allows you to show that it's not about sex at all, and sex is just one of the many things you want to do with her.

 

She responded and told me that her performance is at 7:30a.m. in the morning. Guess I am going to have to re-arrange my morning workout schedule hahaha

How was the performance?

[ShinChoc]

"Did you check her time constraints BEFORE bouncing her back to your place? If not, this is a major mistake, because you don't know if she's bullshitting you or not."

 

^^I didn't know her time constraints beforehand. I have learned from this mistake, and I am now asking women how much time they will have with me before I start getting sexual with them. There were many people messaging her, so she seemed sincere.

 

"If the issue was with getting the pants all the way off, maybe you should have left them on and turned her on her stomach. You could have inserted in that position."

 

^^Yes, I remember you saying something similar to this in your sex course. I will do that next time!

 

"Did she give any verbal objections to your sexcalation? If so, what were they?"'

 

^^I remember her giving brief objections when I started working her neck, but she later gave into it and obliged with helping me take her top off. While I was working her breasts and moving my hands down her pants she stated some verbal objections such as "No" and "Stop" and tried to push me away, but I kissed her hands and she gave into the pleasure for a while before pushing me away from her and putting on her clothes.

 

::UPDATE::

 

So last Friday, the day before our planned cooking date, she deleted me from her Wechat, and it's been radio silence for the past week, with her not responding to my messages, and her not showing up to my class on Thursday.

 

Here is the story:

 

I went to the school performance that she was in. I didn't see her specifically, but I took pictures and sent them to her so that she could know that I showed up. She messaged me back and we chatted for a while. The next morning (Friday the 15th) she messaged me to come meet her to get the cooking supplies. I was somewhat surprised (and pleased) that she messaged me to get the cooking supplies a day before we were set to meet, as it meant that she was somewhat invested in the process of hanging out with me (at least that's the meaning that I took from it).

 

We met and walked to the market. On the walk I pulled out one of the Dr.Seuss books that I brought, and told her that I would use it to help her study English (this was intended to build future projection and comfort). We got into the market, and she seemed somewhat sexually open and playful with me. We were looking at the vegetables but they didn't have the vegetables that we needed. While looking at the vegetables I made a sexual joke by holding up a long, thick vegetable by my crotch, pretending that it was my cock. I thought it was funny, and she seemed mildly amused, slapping the vegetable from my hand.

 

They didn't have the vegetables that we needed, so I suggested that we just do as we planned and meet tomorrow morning. She agreed. As we were walking to the register to check out I pointed to some alcohol on the wall, and asked her to choose what she wanted. She picked out one and I picked out one. I said something along the lines of "We will drink it today" and then she looked at her phone and said she had a meeting at 12:30. As we stood in line I playfully poked her the sides of her back and stomach. I wanted to further invest her in the process of meeting up with me, so I asked her if she had any money and I suggested that she buy one of the alcoholic drinks for me. She said she didn't have any money, and that she didn't want the drinks. She then looked at her phone, and said she had to go, and left.

 

As I was walking home from the store I stopped by a street vendor to get some lunch. I took a picture of the vendor preparing the food, and then I tried to message it to her. As I tried to Wechat message it to her, it rejected the message, saying that I was not in her contacts (that means that she deleted me from her contact list). I found this rather amusing, but I didn't take it too seriously as I had just hung out with her, and I didn't think that I had done anything wrong in the brief time that we spent together. Since I have her phone number, I tried to call her later that night, but her phone was off or something, so it didn't take my call. I then text messaged her saying that I would see her in the morning.

 

Morning came and I messaged her about our meet that was supposed to happen at 10a.m. but she didn't respond. I tried calling her but her phone wasn't taking my call. An hour passed by, with nothing heard from her. Not willing to starve myself waiting on her I went to the chicken place downstairs and got some fried chicken. I messaged her the picture of the chicken saying that I was waiting on her. Two hours passed. I had a meeting with another woman at 1:30, so I messaged her saying that I had to meet another friend, that if she is still sleeping we can meet some other time, and that I hope that she is feeling okay. I later messaged her some pictures of the bikes that my friend and I rode, and of the scenery, saying that "today was a beautiful day for bike riding" and "I hope that your day went well."

 

Thursday came, and she didn't come to my class. This was rather annoying, as I had purposely decided to teach the class about Michael Jai White, a muscular black man who does kungfu in his movies (I figured that showing her a sexy black man might make her project those fantasies onto me ) Our midterm exam is next week, and if she misses the exam I may have to give her a 0% on it (or maybe not, if she wants to take the makeup exam at my home ) During class I messaged her "You are missing too many classes" "(annoyed emoji) (annoyed emoji)".

 

Anyway, it's been radio silence for the past week. I haven't seen her around school at all. A couple of days ago I found out that my phone can't text message pictures (but it can send pictures through WeChat), so the pictures that I thought I sent her through text messaged she probably never received. But I suppose that if she wanted to talk to me she wouldn't have deleted my WeChat in the first place.

 

Even though she deleted me from her WeChat, no called-no showed on the date (for the second time!), and hasn't contacted me, something tells me that I still have a chance of sleeping with this woman. Looking back on our time in the grocery store, I see that it is likely that I triggered her ASD with my behavior (although I don't feel like I really did anything out of line, it's possible that she feels that way), and that I didn't build enough comfort and qualification (although I tried with the Dr.Seuss book).

 

::Newer Update::

 

Okay, so today I bumped into her. I saw her walking to her class, and I walked up beside her, lightly pushing my shoulder against her shoulder to get her attention. I asked her if she was coming to class this week, and I am pretty sure she said "No". I then told her that we have an exam on Thursday, and that she should study. She seemed a little caught off guard (and also not very interested in talking to me) and she kept walking, going inside her classroom. As she walked into the classroom I realized that I should have grabbed her arm to keep her from walking away from me as I was talking to her, but since other students were in the hallway, I didn't do it. I went back into my classroom and text messaged her "Study for the exam on Thursday" ";)". She didn't respond. I feel like if I am more persistent with this woman (and as I correct my previous mistakes), I can still bed this woman.

[RedpoleQ]

As we were walking to the register to check out I pointed to some alcohol on the wall, and asked her to choose what she wanted. She picked out one and I picked out one. I said something along the lines of "We will drink it today" and then she looked at her phone and said she had a meeting at 12:30. As we stood in line I playfully poked her the sides of her back and stomach. I wanted to further invest her in the process of meeting up with me, so I asked her if she had any money and I suggested that she buy one of the alcoholic drinks for me. She said she didn't have any money, and that she didn't want the drinks. She then looked at her phone, and said she had to go, and left.

It seems pretty clear that this is where things went wrong. You MAJORLY DLV'd yourself here by asking her if she had money. You are an authority figure and therefore must have money. So trying to get her to pay for you doesn't make a lot of sense. She's a student, and you're a teacher. You may be thinking that she should get you gifts and all, but getting girls to put up money is really not sexy. ESPECIALLY in China.

 

You may not know how Mainland Chinese are about money, but they're very traditional about guys paying. And I'd say that in this case, the relative power position here either makes you look cheap, or it makes her feel obligated in an uncomfortable way. Like, she's obligated to do whatever you want if she wants to do well in class.

 

Then she blocked you on WeChat. I don't know if this is recoverable. The way I see it, she's given you multiple opportunities and you didn't handle them well. I think that your major problem is that you don't really actually like this girl very much and she's picking up on that too. She's not emotionally engaged, because you're not emotionally engaged.

 

Think about the Art of Seduction. In all of the seducer types there is a strong emotional element. From your emotional volatility, it seems you'd gravitate most towards a "Demonic Rake" but the foundation of the rake is that he loves women, and that definitely doesn't come across from your sarge.

[ShinChoc]

Think about the Art of Seduction. In all of the seducer types there is a strong emotional element. From your emotional volatility, it seems you'd gravitate most towards a "Demonic Rake" but the foundation of the rake is that he loves women, and that definitely doesn't come across from your sarge.

^^A Rake? Me?!? Haha actually the seducer types that coincide with my personality the most are (1) the Cold Coquette, (2) The Feminine Dandy, and (3) The Guru Charismatic. Back when I was using the Art of Seduction techniques in my relationships with Asian women (as opposed to right now, when I am using pickup artist techniques in my relationship with Asian women) I ran a very slow style of game- haunting the periphery, being subtle and indirect, trying to mentally confuse the other person. Using that style of game, I ended up empty-handed most times, so I definitely DON'T recommend using the Art of Seduction as your main method of getting Asian women, but I do get your point about letting the woman know that you care about her. The reason that I have been somewhat cold towards this woman is that she is never consistently around me. If I was able to see her more consistently (as in getting her to meet with me and respond to my messages regularly) I would devote more mental energy towards coming up with ways to make her feel special.. maybe if I can make her feel special she will want to spend more time with me.

 

It seems pretty clear that this is where things went wrong. You MAJORLY DLV'd yourself here by asking her if she had money. You are an authority figure and therefore must have money. So trying to get her to pay for you doesn't make a lot of sense. She's a student, and you're a teacher. You may be thinking that she should get you gifts and all, but getting girls to put up money is really not sexy. ESPECIALLY in China.

 

^^I honestly didn't know this. I mean, I've heard talk that money is very important to Asian women, but I haven't actually seen that play out in my relationships until just recently (Last week I had to borrow money from the main girl that I am seeing, and it definitely seemed to negatively affect her, in a way that I didn't expect. I just paid her back the money that I owed her last night, and she seems to be happy again ). I honestly wasn't intending to be a cheapskate by trying to get her to pay, I just still have a lot of frames set in my mind from the pickup advice that I read dealing with American women.

 

Then she blocked you on WeChat. I don't know if this is recoverable. The way I see it, she's given you multiple opportunities and you didn't handle them well. I think that your major problem is that you don't really actually like this girl very much and she's picking up on that too. She's not emotionally engaged, because you're not emotionally engaged.

 

^^Yes, and I have tried to reach out to her multiple times through text message since she blocked my WeChat, but I haven't heard back from her. Whenever I call her phone, I get a "busy" signal. I wonder if she maybe blocked my phone number from calling her (is it possible to block numbers from calling you?) I am still practicing with my qualification and comfort (as a matter of fact, this is the woman who made it clear to us that my qualification and comfort skills needed to be improved). I think that I would be more emotionally engaged and focused on her if she was more communicative. Her randomly messaging me "what are you doing" and then her not responding to my followup messages kind of put a damper on my getting to know her better. Honestly, from what I have seen from her, she gives off the vibe of being "dumb and insecure".

 

I had a midterm exam yesterday, and she didn't show up to class. This is the third class of mine that she has missed. I have a policy where I give a 0% grade to any student who misses the midterm exam, especially since I already gave a makeup exam. After asking RedpoleQ about it, I text messaged her this:

 

Me: (Her name), it is my policy to give students who miss my exam a 0% grade

Me: I will have to fail you for the exam, unless you come take the makeup exam

 

I haven't heard back from her. Ya know, when it comes to situations like these (situations where I make a series of blunders that lead to the deterioration of a relationship), I am more likely to chalk it up to paying my dues and learning the lesson. There were A LOT of things that I didn't know before I met this woman, and now that I have made these mistakes with her, I will be able to correct myself in future relationships. Although I would love to be able to have her body in my bed once more, I am looking towards the future now.

[ShinChoc]

::UPDATE::

 

Well, it seems as if this chapter is officially closed. I was teaching a makeup class today, and it happened to be on the same floor that she has a class (she sent me her schedule a few weeks back, so I know where and what time she takes her classes). I ended my class early, and I decided to wait for her class to finish so that I could approach her. I had a bag of almonds with me (my daily snack), and I decided that this would be the thing that I would use to initiate conversation with her. When I saw her leaving class I approached her with my bag of almonds, saying that she should eat some. She mumbled a decline. I tried to engage her in conversation, bringing up the fact that she needed to take the midterm, but she was very silent. I pulled her to the side out of the way of the students who were walking by (students who were obviously paying the both of us a lot of attention, to her obvious dismay), and asked her why she was mad at me. I asked her if it was because I tried to get her to buy the alcohol and she said no. I was trying to convince her to take the exam, and she told me that she did not want to take my class anymore. I told her that I will have to give her a zero in my class if she doesn't take the exam, and I said that "I don't want to fail you because we are friends" and she said "no". I offered to cook lunch for her and let her take the exam at my place, and she declined. I tried to get her to add me back to her Wechat, but she said no and walked away from me and went towards the stairs.

 

I was tempted to follow her down the stairs, but there were lots of students going down the stairs, and I didn't think that being persistent would work in this instance. I decided to walk the opposite direction, but then I decided that I would give it one more go. I found her as she was walking outside towards her dormitory and I tried one more time to convince her to take the exam, but she silently avoided eye contact with me, and I ended our conversation by saying "Have a good day" and walked away.

 

Well, I gave it my best shot. Hopefully I didn't scare her into calling the police on me (that was my main fear with trying this stalking tactic), but I already got my letters of recommendation written by my bosses for the next job that I am pursuing, so I am not too worried about anything happening at this school that could damage my reputation . I still find it rather odd that she might have blocked me from her life just for asking her if she had money, but this is somewhat of an odd woman. She seems to have a very low I.Q., and seems very emotionally immature. For the past few days I have been rather upset (and extremely horny) thinking about the awesome sex that we could have been having together, but I think that I feel better now. She clearly isn't the woman for me right now, and I am probably better off just marking our relationship as a "lesson learned."

 

Some of the things I learned during this relationship

1. The importance of following the Phase5 Cycle, and qualifying a woman and future-projection BEFORE you sexually escalate on her

2. How to get a woman turned on for sex. In the past I have almost always gone for the legs first (I'm a leg man ), but RedpoleQ taught me that the neck and ears are much more effective for pushing women past the point of no return

3. Always be able and willing to pay for everything on your date with a woman

4. Sometimes it's the small things that are the biggest determining factor for whether you get a woman or not (small things like asking her to go Dutch hahaha)

 

I'm sure there are more things that I have learned, but I am rather tired and hungry now, so I will go eat some sushi! I've learned a lot from this relationship, and I will use what I have learned to make my next relationships with Asian women go a lot smoother

[RedpoleQ]

It's not that you ALWAYS have to pay. You have to consider the dynamic. Generally, if she's a student and you're working, you should pay. If she's also working than going dutch can be OK, though I tend to think that the bigger the age gap the less OK it is to go dutch. Looking cheap is extremely unattractive and an age gap with no money to show for it is DOUBLY unattractive. But it also depends on the culture.

 

So in Japan, and Korea, going dutch is fairly common. But it's much more rare in China because Chinese are newly rich and men have significantly more earning power than women in addition to the fact that a man's financial means are still a major part of selection criteria. I think that the larger the middle class the less common that is because middle class men and women tend to have similar earning power.

 

In general, I think that a more elegant solution is to pay for something, and then have her pay for the next thing. If you do want her to throw in some cash, I've found the best way to handle it is to say something like, "Do you have x amount?" where x amount is between a 3rd and a half of the total. That way, if she doesn't she can say no, and gracefully extricate herself and you don't look cheap because you actually do have and are willing to pay.