JUXT (Benny) Seoul Bootcamp Mar 2017 FR

[JUXT]

Hey guys, Benny here. Finally this is my FR from the Seoul bootcamp.

 

Without going on too much about me and my story, this bootcamp was my introduction to doing pick up and previously I had only approached a woman that I did’t know a handful of times in my 35 years.

 

I’m going to cover some of the main learnings that I had.

 

-Girls can be surprisingly receptive. I have always looked at girls on a night out, or going about their business during the day and imagined that they would not want to be bothered by me. Although this was some times the case during the bootcamp, most of the approaches I made were received very well! The first approach was to ask when the coffee shop we were in closed and that was it. The girls said they didn’t know and although i did what I was meant to do and felt good about that, I still felt they just wanted me to leave them alone. To my surprise, about 5 minutes later the same girls walked past us on the street and after Martin said “hey, it’s our friends from the coffee shop!” they actually turned, giggled and waved at us! it was a totally different vibe to what I had assumed possible when I first saw them. The take away being to approach game with a frame that women do want to interact with men and that I can be that guy who gives them a positive, fun, playful interaction.

 

-Investment is important to get from a woman and it’s also important to recognise when you’re getting it. During an approach that I made on the street, we were accosted by a homeless guy asking for money. It was early on in the 2-set and the girls were being receptive, but to my surprise once I moved them only a couple of meters away from the homeless guy they actually warmed up even more. It was almost like we’d been through something together just taking a few steps to get away from something. The other point being that the fact they didn’t leave when confronted with a homeless guy and then a complete stranger telling them to “step over here with me” actually says a lot about their investment -I didn’t realise this at the time. So you could apply this to moving a girl out of human traffic on the street or away from the service area in a bar. The main point being that a little compliance goes a long way. Lastly, at the time I didn’t see the value in such a small thing, but now I feel that in a similar situation I would recognise it and it would contribute positively to how I feel the set is going.

 

-Managing group dynamics is essential. In the past, I’ve only ever made a handful of approaches toward women while out. I find it interesting to think back to them and now wonder how many were unsuccessful purely because of group dynamics. What I’m getting at is the fact that whatever I opened with may have actually been good, but because all of my attention was focused on one girl she responds negatively either because her friend/group is being left out or she feels like she’s being watched by them. During several 2 or 3 sets I noticed a huge difference when I remembered to open the entire group compared to when I focused solely on my target. Actually I don’t think I received a single positive response during the latter.

 

-What they say about “shit tests” is true. One particular approach really stands out to me. It was a 2 set and my target was pretty damn hot. At least HB8 imho. Her and her friend were busy boxing out a guy who’d just approached them and pulling sour faces to really get the point across. Martin sent me in with a funny opener and it went down pretty damn good! (of course it did ). I included the friend, brought in Smoove and the set progressed. This girl shot down or teased everything i said. Apparently she was here with 10 friends, doesn’t stay in shape and is really fat under the clothes, never leaves the house, hates music etc etc. The funny thing is that while this type of dialogue was going on Martin was pushing me (literally) into kino and the girl didn’t move a muscle. Actually she responded positively with her body language. After a minute I had an arm on her back and was that close to her that her legs were resting against me (she was sitting cross legged on a stool) and she was quite happy to stay like that. I ended up running out of things to say and we ejected, so I can’t confirm how invested she was, but i would read more into that kind of physical contact and body language than the words coming out of her mouth.

 

-BT spiking is all about delivery. Being pretty new to this, I was relying heavily on the material that Martin taught me. I noticed that the amount of energy I put in to delivering a bt spike directly related to how it was received. If I didn’t get the body language and tonality right, the girls would either take me seriously and not realise I was making a joke or understand I was joking, but not buy in to the humour. So delivery, delivery, delivery!

 

-Keep talking! This was a major thing for me. As was pointed out to me, all the sets actually went very well considering how new I am to this (basically I suck). The only time I got told “well, I need to get back to my friends” was when I approached a 3 set and forgot to bring in a wingman -d’uh. The most common reason that I ejected from sets was that I literally couldn’t think of what to say. I’m sure with experience this won’t be as much of a problem, but for a beginner it’s worth having some material ready. I’m now working on a ton of stuff to fall back on when the conversation dries up.

 

-Work on voice projection. It was quite difficult for me to be heard which made things pretty awkward. Either the girl had to lean in or I had to -which is obviously not good. I guess the other option is to pull them closer to you and talk in their ear without leaning in, but being able to project my voice properly would be a much better option -especially for opening groups.

 

-You don’t need state building exercises -taking action is state building. After the weekend of my bootcamp I was feeling pretty overwhelmed! It was information overload and had been a real eye opener to this new world and also things going on within me. For a couple of days I just chilled, read my notes and tried to take it all in. However, by the Wednesday I realised that I needed to do something. For the next three days I added some street game approaches into my daily routine. After the gym and food, I would hit the streets and make around 8 to 10 approaches. Although obviously my game needed a ton of work, it was this action that gave me even more motivation to get after it! A lot of the things I’d learned over the weekend started to make more sense and I could also see how approaching could not only be a part of my life, but how amazing it felt and how rewarding it would be!

 

So, in closing I learned a ton I would have to say the overarching thing that sticks in my mind is that we all experience a different reality, based on our perception of things. Prior to the bootcamp, when going out, I would have never imagined that the attractive women I see would actually want to be approached. But I’ve learned that when done the right way it can be an incredibly positive experience for everyone involved and that I CAN be someone who promotes that kind of experience and positive emotions. #feelsgoodman

 

JUXT

[Smoove]

Good stuff brotha, and love the handle!

 

I remember we were discussing your realizations after the bootcamp and it impressed me. Specifically, the thoughtful way that your mind reflects, and also opening daytime sets after the bootcamp...on your own!!!

 

If voice projection in loud venues at night is an issue, perhaps places like bookstores would suit you better to begin with. Way more chiiillll.

 

You'll definitely shine in day game. Can't wait till you're back in Korea and hitting it again

[RedpoleQ]

Glad you got so much out of the boot camp! Great write up and looking forward to seeing you next time you're in Seoul!

[Vision]

Excellent report!

 

Really key to be able to talk a lot, and talk loud. Two if my favorite skills!

 

Looking forward to hanging out when you get back in town ^^

 

 

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